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Tornado

Brushed past my heart and torn everything out
You know who you are that I'm talking about
You ripped everything to shreds and never came back
Left my heart with bruises and busts and cracks

You invaded like a tornado without tropical rain
You spun everything into something worse to put me in deeper pain
Stop pushing and putting pressure on something that's not yours
I let you in and you stayed awhile but now I've closed those doors

Leave! Get out! I can't stand it anymore
Stop killing me from the inside out, it was bad enough before
Stop battering and tearing and pulling me down
Karma is the last thing that will come around

A Tornado swarms, invades, tears apart
Just like what you have done with my heart



Author notes

I am using the word "Tornado" as a prompt

In a list

A contest entry

Please give me a critical review.

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 13 of 13

  • Treasure 5 gold member
    March 6

    Edit | Reply
    sorry it is so sad, but I loved it. I do no how it feels been there, so yes I know where you are coming from. Pleasure to read.


  • Sandra R Reynolds gold member
    January 25
    Edit | Reply
    Excellent you showed feeling and anger. Great write.


  • SouthpawGA
    January 24

    Edit | Reply

    .

    .


  • badnovocaine
    January 24

    Edit | Reply
    Aw this is such a sad write. You know this isn't bad at all, quite the opposite. Another write where I can find that I can relate to.


  • Gypsy Via Orleans
    January 22
    Edit | Reply
    Young child you are started to make me feel inferior. 'Nough said!


  • morgana raven Greeters member
    January 20

    Edit | Reply
    Brilliant picture and see I WAS right, so shush this is fantastic, really you write much better than i did at 13, i wasn't into poetry then just stories and things so i didn't get it so much, but you really know how to use your words and rhyme
    Laura


  • Ms Raneika
    January 19

    Edit | Reply
    Oh different, never read pain describe as a tornardo. The way you tell your story relative to an actual tornado fits. Nice Piece. Keep pening! Thanks for entering!

    Love, Raneika


  • Kathraina silver member
    January 19

    Edit | Reply
    Ouch.
    This is an emotional piece with deep impact on me....I've felt this in a few ways.
    A great write my angel, and best of luck to you

    ♥ Kathraina

1 - 13 of 13