Were You Ever There for Me?

I never wanted to be you.
I didn't think I'd get that bad.
I thought this was about helping you out.
I thought this was you,
Pulling yourself back up
After falling down so many times.
Instead,
You're sucking me into the vortex.
You're letting me drown in the sea of alcohol with you.
You want me to want sex,
Drugs,
All of that crap that gets you nowhere.
You act like everything will be fine
If I take just one more drink.
I don't ever want to feel that way.
Not with you.
Not with anyone.
I don't want the silence to scream at me,
Telling me I'm alone,
Encouraging me to stick the needle in my arm
And let myself go for once.
Who's going to take care of me when I go crazy?
No one.
I'm the responsible one.
Wouldn't you just love to see me broken down,
Bones crushed beneath the weight of this agony,
Friendless,
All because I can't party with the ones I love.
It just goes to show that I can't feel as good as you do
In the heat of every moment.
I'm stuck cleaning up the mess,
Just like the generations of good people before me.
I'll settle for being the iron bar
You must lean on for support
When you've had a bit too much.
I'll settle for being the transportation
When you finally overdose
And are in need of serious help.
I'll settle for being the person
Who holds you tight while you're crying
Over the fact that you're still alone.
All the while,
I'm begging for you to let me live my life
Without feeling your weight on my shoulders.
All the while,
I'm begging for you to set aside that stuff
So I won't be the only person not crying
Over the possible reasons why you're gone
Because I knew how this would end.
All the while,
I'm begging for you to realize
That you were never the lonely one.
I was always there for you.
Were you ever there for me?