The evening sun radiates through your gaze, sending burnt orange chills through me. I stare back, unharmed. I have become fire static and glossy sugar light so I'll complement your spice aftertaste.
We are crowded but we are alone, bound into each other's atoms by strings of wax stars and translucent membranes. In snippets we blow apart, mixing copper powder skin -- blueberry oil and Amazon rain.
It seems as though the galaxy captured us in echoes. Do you realise that we are spilled onto clay moon snapshots? Our moments are our lives -- our lives are this moment.
There is no past for us.
Our today's and yesterday's coincide.
--
She chatters in peach language of yes's and no's, while I drop ellipsis and dust them off to represent replies; somehow they satisfiy her. My attention is on your footsteps as you distribute some sort of flier that maps out the future.
Then she notices.
Sweet regards with a hint of sarcasm creep into her words, yet they are not directed at me - they flit around the chandeliers overhead and I wonder why the lamps are missing their decorative covers and you just smile.
--
You are my inexplicably set contentment and my burgundy sky pieces, fitting horizons together to mask white voids.
But he just rolls his eyes. He is already locked in between my ribs and he carries my tattered banner beside him. Somehow my clockface heart is painted into permanence. And you are painted inside my eyelids.
"Why?" he asks me. "Why do you still hang on? I'm here now."
"I don't know," I whisper, claiming that your yellow flower flattery is nothing to me.
I cannot resist.
I can never escape.
Traces of you are buried in me.
Author notes
I am so sorry this is bad.
Half the time I tried to force my feelings into metaphors and the other half I just tried to write without thinking. Both sound bad.
A contest entry
- A Year. by alexandra..
900 points, ended February 17, 42 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - your best prewrite. by jayyniecakes..
400 points, ended February 22, 26 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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amazing.
:] -
this is soooo.... AMAZING!
beautiful metafores..
FINALIST!
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You write lovelyly. Yeah. That makes tons of sense.
=D COLORFUL! Yeah, yellow flowers and white somethings, and burnt orange something elses. -
This is probably my favorite.
It was so captivating.
Your first section was so so so amazing, I read it twice.
Your ending is perfect, I just loved this whole piece.
Amaaazingg.
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This isn't bad at all.
I can't force my feelings into metaphors.
I wish I could, though.
Thanks for entering. -
this is really amazing, i loved it.
especially;
We are crowded but we are alone, bound into each other's atoms by strings of wax stars and translucent membranes. In snippets we blow apart, mixing copper powder skin -- blueberry oil and Amazon rain.
It seems as though the galaxy captured us in echoes. Do you realise that we are spilled onto clay moon snapshots? Our moments are our lives -- our lives are this moment.
beautiful and filled of raw emotion. you deserve to win.
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creativity: 14/15
emotion: 10/10
poetic devices: 15/15
relation to title/emotion: 8/10
total score: 47/50
amazinggg poem. i was captivated from the very first line. you wrote with such brilliance and everything about this piece was extravagant, yet contagiously original. you wrote it so beautifully. i also like how it stayed powerful and very strong throughout the entire piece. your emotions were captivating and so relatable. you can basically count on being in round 3. this was incredible. so congratulations. (: ♥
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Good story this happen today? lol Relax, it is not bad. If you don't like it, Change it till you do. I enjoy your writings, even when they are just free writes.
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I really like it, although I do think that this;
"The evening sun radiates in your gaze and sends burnt orange chills through me. I dare to stare back because, after all, I've smoldered before -- I have been charred into glossy sugar light to match your spice aftertaste."
[the first stanza] could use some work, something about the way it reads just isn't right.. but the rest is great :]
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