laughter
cascading down
from the mountains above
children alive and filled with joy
their echoes bring cheer for many miles
smiles from below on faces
appear around town now
and I hear new
laughter
Author notes
http://allpoetry.com/contest/2433999
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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The overlapping of images is gorgeous
"laughter
cascading down
from the mountains above" -- That resonates to me, of youngster's sound rippling giggling, both literally but also in your mind, how it keeps going through you, pulsing a mother's, family's and families' response.
Like the rain that pours down hills and flows over us, so does the innocence reach our hearts ... wonderfully shown in line five. I think you've done the form with nice flow, but also with great illustration.
I logged in to laughter, wanting to say hi again through a comment not just haha viewing... simultaneously with counting stars by radix as played by at my mamma's avatar. you may remember us by previous usernames, they are on profile page; hers now is 'pre...'. I hope a smile came upon you from my kiddy appearance too,
Daisy -
excellent~
I have yet to do this form
I don't think I could do one well...I barely get haiku's right LOL
This should be in a contest
Well done sis
Hugs
Susan~~~
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I'm going to have to try this form soon.
Being a parent, this made me smile.
Don
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very heartfelt
I'll have to look up this rhyme scheme. I like the placement of some of the words like "down" and "above",
and "miles" "smiles"
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no rhyme scheme that was accidental lol , rictameters are based on syllables.
2, 4, 6, 8, 9, 8, 6, 4, 2
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this is beautiful. thank you for entering
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this is great as to form and content. I'm not sure but I think you may in line 8 mean "hear" as in I hear new laughter? thank you for entering
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Ah! We chose the same word prompt. (Great minds)
I love the cascading echoed laughter of children. This poem brings a smile to the reader's face and it is a very smooth flowing Rictameter. Well done!
Love,
Amera♥
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Delightful!
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Lovely poem I enjoyed it.
KW~
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i see a very lovely poem, well written and with a positive outlook. Great stuff. Keep it up and good luck in the contest.
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aw a beautiful poem I love your imagery its wonderful good luck in the contest
maralisa
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