Three years ago
Part of my life died
After being raped I was confused
Scared,
By God, I can't lie
Now I've come to realize
Everything does truly happen for a reason
Whether the case
Whatever being
But giving it up to you would have been a bigger one
Now I am here
Eightteen of age
Three birthdays gone, let's turn the page
Days have past, and seconds wander
As the weather goes cold, my heart grows fonder
Live in the moment, and remember 2003
Where I didn't need anything
But me and my poetry
And as long as I had my fishnet
I did not need love
And may that girl ever live in me
God gave me this thing
It's called "tainted grace"
And may I bless people with who put me in my place
This mind might wonder
But it speaks no lies
Forget about the persona
It's only a mere disguise
Simply enraptured in this tainted life
Too consumed in this humanic strife
You might of raped around my 15th birthday three years ago
But the past is in the past
You are forgiven
I just wanted to let you know
Maybe you were an angel
Possibly in disguise
'Cause the guy who sat on the left of me
In Mr.Childer's class
Did the worst thing he could ever do
To this vampiress
*You* made me realize
Everything happens for a reason in the long run
No matter how hard it hits you
You made me see there's things you can't hide from
I'm sorry Britney !#$%ed with you
And that Andrew beat your @$$
I had nothing to do with it
Andrew and *Jacob* will have karma come back
Forgiving you is only the beginning
But you finding this could be a nice start
We were decent friends before this mistake happend
I'm sorry this ever happend
Maybe if we talk again
A friendship won't fall apart.
Author notes
Okay ... before you think ... why would you ever forgive a guy that raped you ... this is what the poem is about. From what I heard, it was a mistake. I had a preminition about it. At that time, I didn't care. I wanted for gorget about another loser that meant nothing to me.
As for this poem ... rough break up ... miscarriage type of deal. The ex faince left me for his *reincarnated wife* He claims that there's another side to the story, that i wouldnt understand if I didn't even know.
But, as for the point in the poem. Being raped isn't the way to go. But after what happend when I was in love. Realizing if I gave him my virginity, it would have been one of the biggest mistakes of my life. Being raped wasn't what I expected, but he didn't mean to do it. It happend, and it was an accident. Found that out New Year's Eve. It was beautiful, after all this time, finally knowing the truth.
Sorry, its my 18th birthday, and sorry, I'm rambling. As for *him* who might happen to read this. You are forgiven. I understand it happend for a reason now. And it's cool.
Now ... since the gaps should be filled, if you wanted to comment, go ahead. Please, just try to see my point of view, before you turn someone into a bad guy. Becuase, I REALLY don't want to hear it.
Thanks.
DON'T get into ethics with me. just hear me out, whoever may be reading this.
Comments
-
i am happy that you have learned to forgive, it is a big part of the healing process for you sweetie, you are a young woman now and i am glad that you can look forward instead of back.
this is a very expressive and emotional write that will help you to move forward 
x mom x
-
wow. goddamn girll. this was amazing. i know how hard it can be to forgive someone who has hurt you so, but then again, if you continue to hate them, are you really that much better? its not good to have hate consume you, so im glad to see that you are letting this go to an extent. you will never change the fact that it happened, but you can change what it will do to you and just become stronger. love you!
-
The people who I once thought were enemies for doing what they did to me... I think I'm in love with one of their types now. And I'm starting to learn that I am one of them. I went through hell when I was younger because of these people but now, I feel comfort with them. I rather their company than "normal" people these days...
So I understand. In a way.
I wake up thinking, great, I get to be with him today. Whereas a few years ago, I woke up wondering what they would do to me this time.
You know how they say we're all a product of our environment? I sort of agree. But I just think that everything that happens to us, helps us ease into who we are and what we are like.
I love you.
Adding your comment:
