An old man sits in his chair,
Thinking of when he was young.
Searching for a way to fix it all,
But knowing that there is none.
Sometimes he sits for hours,
Smiling, laughing, or crying.
Thinking of those seven years,
The ones that were so divine.
The old man sheds a tear,
As his words appear on the screen.
Remembering those happy times,
And realizing they’re but a dream.
Even if they’re but memories,
They mean the world to him.
He cherishes each and every one,
Like the rarest of all gems.
That’s just what they are you see,
Something so pure and rare.
Each one gives him such hope,
That he’d take the darkest dare.
Now maybe he’s not invincible,
And maybe just a little insane.
But what fun would the world be,
If everything was just so plain?
So why don’t you try it with him,
And see if it works for you?
Think of your happiest memories,
And see just what you can do.
You may just be surprised,
At what you discover today.
Maybe you’ll understand next time,
An old man wastes his day away.
And now the memories begin to fade,
As the old man grows tired and weak.
He hopes for the best for tomorrow,
But his outlook is sternly bleak.
Though he takes every day,
With valor, heart, and grace.
He has to accept the fact,
That he’ll never again see her face.
This old man is bruised and broken,
As you can easily see.
But one thing you might not have guessed,
Is that broken old man is me.
And so I have a request for you,
If you cross her on the street.
Tell her I miss her, I love her, I cherish her,
And without her, my heart no longer would beat.
Author notes
Well... Where do I begin? I just haven't been feeling myself lately, so I thought I'd just start writing and see what came out... This is it... Literally 15 minutes of my brains inner-most thoughts... Enjoy!
A contest entry
- You're a Disgrace, Nothing More, Nothing Less by tsukiyo.
550 points, ended February 27, 24 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Love goes where its sent: up a dog's ass PW's welcome by echo-ink.
700 points, ended March 1, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - /B/r/e\a\k\ me into p.i.e.c.e.s, Im such a h-o-p-e-l-e-s-s case. by Silent Emotions.
900 points, ended February 25, 56 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - ---gold takes it all- - - by Xx.Toxic.xX.
1003 points, ended February 28, 38 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - PAIN... by Violent Glass.
570 points, ended March 16, 79 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Breaken Hearted As Always- IM IN LOVE by Shannon62875.
490 points, ended April 22, 55 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
-
wow... you have a gift for impelling poetry... it is so full of emotion, easy to read... easy to understand.. i love it... great write
-
awww!! THis is such a cute write!! Im really sorry for your pain.. and im hoping you have gotten better!!! I know its never easy to lose somone you love so deeply!! Keep up the great work and good luck in my contest!
thanks for enterign!
Shanon*Leah -
You took this in a totally diff. direction than everyone else,
Kudos for that.
The poem was very well written, thanks for entering, and here...have a hug,
I think you need one.
-
This is awsome
The flow, the feeling, the beauty in it. It made me cry and think and feel. wow its was written flawlessly well. WOW I loved it and you said i will get scared and run away. Its not a way to compare but your write better than me and I need more that comes from my heart and my thoughts and not just finding the right words to put on paper. but wow this was so awsome and sad and so you i really loved it please keep up the great work honey. and enter my open bar contest k. Hugs
-
-
Thanks, sweety. I'm glad you liked it. I do think you're giving me a little too much credit... It took 15 minutes of writing to bring it out. No thought or forcing it. I wouldn't say that I'm a good writer. Thanks for your support, though!
-
-
Great stuff. Much of it reminds me of my elderly father, would like to see a rewrite that just focuses on the man and not lost love (trite).
-
-
The old man is there only to show the effects of lost love. In fact, he's meant to directly represent how I felt inside. So the real star of the poem is the lost love, itself, while the old man just emphasizes my emotions.
-
-
I understand that. I just think it would be great if you tried a new poem with that emphasis, could be very powerful.
-
-
-
"The old man is bruised and broken,
as you can easily see.
But one thing you might not have guessed,
is that broken old man is me.
And so I have a request for you,
If you see her on the street.
Tell her I miss her, I love her, I cherish her,
And without her, my heart no longer would beat."
There's so much to say in just this part, besides the rest of the poem but this stood out most to me. There was so much emotion in this. It was almost upseting. Such a wonderful write, I realy enjoyed reading this and hope you never stop writing cause you've got some talent. Again, nice write and I hope all is well
-
-
Thanks, but I don't know if I have any "real" talent. In fact, I usually hate to write, but it helps to express your feelings. I write when I'm feeling down or there's something going on in my life that I disagree with. I'm sure I'll keep writing, but sporatically.
-
-
Very Beautiful and Descriptive poem.
Keep up the good work
-Buster
-
-
Thanks! I'm glad you liked it.
-
-
This was fantastic. I really honestly loved it. Beautiful. I felt like I really knew the old man. So sweet because your poem played out like a movie in my head. I wouldn't change a thing. Thank you for writing.
-
-
All of my poetry is usually written in around 20 minutes and I hardly ever change anything after I've typed it. So, you need not worry about me making any changes! And I'm glad you related to this poem. It really makes my writing worth it, when I can relay my emotions to someone else. Thanks for the comment!
-
Adding your comment:
1 - 14 of 14
