I
I know that you do not care.
You did not have to tell me.
II
I think that when the doctors stitched me all back up
They were high.
I do not blame them;
I exude toxicity
I ooze acidity
I regurgitate simplicity.
I am enough to spin the head of even the least head-spinnable.
I ought to know.
I am the only one who ever comes close enough to risk
Infection.
And my head is
ALWAYS
s.p.i.n.n.i.n.g
III
I believe in miracles & medicine & Munchausen syndrome.
I believe that I am made of candyfloss
In the way that I stick to the fingers of
Anyone
who has ever touched me.
I believe my heart is made of tinfoil
And yours is made of diamond.
[Tinfoil can pretend to be pretty.]
[Even diamonds are flawed.]
IV
I wonder if you
[ever]
noticed
.
.
.
When I saw you today
I wore no make up.
You laughed.
I left.
But nothing is as bad as I make it sound,
Sweetie.
V
Feel…
Bruise. Dandelion. Sugar heart. Purple. Chemical.
Window pain. Broken spine.
I have no ink left in this heart to describe my brainsickness.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
[anticlimax]
Author notes
Written 19.1.09
CatSlash xx
A contest entry
- the catharsis rounds; auditions. by aanika.
1800 points, ended February 10, 43 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
-
I really enjoyed that
The part about candyfloss really got me though
One of the best lines I've ever read
Great job=] -
yes.
thanks for entering. -
yes.
Please wait for the other judges comment. -
wow. simple, but full of emotion. this is great!
-
This is my personal comment for the catharsis rounds.
Upon the closing of the contest, I will comment back with a 'yes' or 'no.'
That being said, everything Aanika said, I completely agree with.
I really liked your first stanza, and the bit about candy floss.
I'll be back.
-
I believe that I am made of candyfloss
In the way that I stick to the fingers of
Anyone
who has ever touched me.
wow.
that hit so hard.
I really really liked this, although I thought the ending could have been stronger.
your imagery is gorgeous.
thanks for entering! -
Only now back on All Poetry, and yours is the first I've read in this style, and you've got me...well hooked.
Thats amazing, i love the
"I exude toxicity
I ooze acidity
I regurgitate simplicity"
It so simple, yet so effective.
Keep up the writing!
Em -
I know that you do not care.
You did not have to tell me.
-simple, yet very powerful.
I believe that I am made of candyfloss
In the way that I stick to the fingers of
Anyone
who has ever touched me.
- i LOVE this metaphor. i've never thought of it this way but woah. it's so sweet, almost verging on saccharine.
the verse under it was excellent too. i think the way you picked the contrast to what people think makes it a lot more interesting.
oh and the ending was brilliant!! absolutly just; well in irony, climaxing!
-
"I have no ink left in this heart to describe my brainsickness."
Your words would never abandon you. It's interesting to me how you are able to make them work for you though, creating such beautiful works with such brutal reality.
Lovely job.
Thank you for sharing!
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