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Dominique

Dominique liked to go swimming,
she enjoyed the feel of the water
and the way that it made her hair fan out
in a perfect and beautiful circle,
not obscured as you would think
but rather enhanced by the shimmer and movement of the water.

She had a Barbie, her favorite one,
and she reckoned, that maybe, Barbie liked swimming too.
She had come with a swimsuit after all.

And Dominique liked the way
that Barbie's hair, which was so like hers,
black as ebony and just as soft and smooth,
fanned out in the water.

It wasn't her green eyes,
but Barbie's
that watched the other swept out to sea.

Author notes

Prompt: Dominique

Uh, so not sure...

Blah-fish - Constructive criticism is appreciated

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments


  • Viyanna Rosemarie silver member
    February 20, 2009

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    i want to wish you the best of luck in this contest that we both have entered. you have written quite a nice little poem for it. i am looking forward to reading more from you in the near future. viyanna rosemarie


  • Cannonsfire
    January 19, 2009

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    this is good hun, think you need to rework that last stanza, for if it was her eyes and not barbie's was it barbie who got swept away or another person...I think if it was a doll it's not quite as sad as if it had been a friend that was with her. Perhaps write another into it with her as a lifelong friend, it would give the piece a bit more substance C


  • Carpe Noctem
    January 19, 2009

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    Okay, your name is:

    Dominique

    It is Latin and French and means 'lord.' Good luck!