1. Prose
A white light penetrates the dark and clouded atmosphere. The ins and outs of the ocean waves break loud upon the shore. A naked man lies beached in terror covering his head. The noise of the waves torment his conscience as he sees his whole life set before him. Naked he cannot hide. Yet, finally he finds the courage to cry in sorrow for his sins.
2. Poetry prose
Mighty is the piercing light which diminishes the dark and clouded night. The ins and outs of the ocean waves trumpet its reflection with a mighty roar. Naked lies the man in fetal position upon the shore. In terror and in torment he covers his head begging back the night. But, the Light has found him. Out of love, humility finds courage and he weeps a back wash of sorrows.
3. Poem
Mighty, the Light
withholding darkness-
the ocean roar upon
a conscience waned
Naked and in fear
lies the man-
Before God
all is known
Against death
humility sows a
seed of courage
for the true and
penitent soul
A contest entry
- TRIO by Lyndon.
1750 points, ended January 29, 12 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - CELEBRATE 17 NOVEMBER- FOR AWARD-WINNING POEMS OF THE PAST YEAR by Vera Rich.
700 points, ended November 21, 95 entries
• next poem in this contest, • Add to finalists list, or remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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"stripped of all" humility is a bitter sweet acknowledgement of reality. A blessing actually, only then can one find the courage to go on.
A seamless intergration to each section of this awesome trio, Congratulations Mary on a most deserving GOLD!
many blessings, Sandi
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Wonderful poetry
Congratulations on the Gold.
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Thank you, R S Adams
~Mary O
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You have a connectedness
between each of the three parts and this makes for a tight trio. Personally, I enjoyed all. Thank you.
Winkler Ron.
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Thank you so much, Ron. Happy you enjoyed
~Mary O
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You succeeded in demonstrating ...
the difference between prose, poetic prose and poetry. Each of these sections neatly captured the picture in a complete whole.
The only aspect I would have changed, if this was my poem, is the final phrase in section 2: weeps an ocean of sorrows -- a phrase which I, too, used in my poetry, and which has become a cliche on this website. Suggestion: sobs washed ashore in sighs of release OR some such.
Otherwise: beautifully done.
Results of this contest soon. -
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Thank you so much. Wasn't sure if that was a cliche. I changed it, see what you think.
~Mary O -
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Ah yes ...
now the phrase is fresh and sorrow a recollection that cleanses.
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Thank you myrataal
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Intense "begging back the night"
I particularly enjoyed your third stanza. Outstanding "humility sows a seed of courage for the true and penitent soul." Lovely take on the picture.
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Thank you so much for your time, comments and approval; most appreciative
~Mary O
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Thank you so much for this entry ...
I shall comment in detail as soon as possible.
Love
Myra
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