Do you see what's beneath?
Have you truly sought out your demons?
Or have we simply skirted the shadows,
Seeing but not believing what's there.
Do we ignore the blatantly obvious?
And fall into traps of stagnancy.
Content to remain rooted firmly
When there is every reason to run.
The dark may seem impenetrable.
It's okay, just open your eyes.
They'll adjust to this new environment
You didn't even realize you'd entered.
You're not entirely to blame
For this current predicament.
When the blind lead the blind
Disaster is inevitable.
Although if one of us had opened our eyes
Just a little sooner.
We might not be in this mess.
Comments
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Deep
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very nice ending roomie
"They'll adjust to this new environment You didn't even realize you'd entered." this really painted a picture for me.
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Hello. Sorry it took so long to get started on commenting your poems like I promised. I really like this. It's got a lot of potential.
Now straight to the constructive criticism. The ending is a bit blunt and sudden. It kind of disconnects me from the poem. It could do with a bit of work to make it less awkward. And the second stanza, second line should be a continuation of line one, not a sentence. It's a continuation of the question, please make it so.
In general however this is a brilliant start. I like the feeling behind it and the confusion. I can feel this. Well done my dear. It needs a little bit of work for the ending, but in general I love it. Sorry it took so long to get started on your poems. I kind of lost touch with allpoetry for a while but I'm back and I'm going to get through your poems like you earned for winning my contest.
<3
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good
I think this is great.
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