An April shower of freckles
pools on his cheeks,
drips onto his arms.
No umbrella, standing alone
soaked in pale skin
doomed to sunburn.
Neglected wet mop
of amber icicles
hang in his eyes.
Frozen glass puddles
sit on his nose
and unbalanced ears.
Fighting a lake of ink,
and a lack of
inspiration.
Deadlines approaching,
thundering with flashes
of lightening warning.
Sailboats of words
float unattainable,
on an endless sea.
-splash-
A single drop of rain
starts running down
the page.
Islands of paragraphs
surface at last!
Completion...
~Paradise~
Author notes
Apparently Jayden means "God has heard" but... that's just FYI
To me he is a struggling columnist with writers block.
Hope my water theme was cool and "refreshing"
(I really have to stop with the puns... 
)
***also FYI if it wasn't clear - the frozen glass pools are glasses 
***
I do hope this was somewhat in the style you were looking for... I tried.. :S
(and I'm a totally newbie with name poetry 
)
Constructive criticism requested
A contest entry
- Immerse yourself in a new persona [FULL] by Miss Faerie.
700 points, ended January 25, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please judge as critically as you want
Comments
-
You did really well!
Don't doubt yourself, your efforts were excellent
I love that you explained what the names mean, the frozen glass pools made complete sense and it was a great way to read about someone I couldn't imagine
Thank you for entering and good luck in the contest
Shari
-
-
Thanks so much! These contests are fun. And also quite challenging.
♥Kat
-
-
An awesome take on your person. It is so neat how we can make stories up for non-existing charatcers. Great job Kat! One little suggestion would be to add some comma's in a couple of stanzas to help certain parts stand out more. Best of luck hun!
-
-
I tried with the comas... but i might have overdone it .. :S oh well thanks for the comment. ♥
-
Adding your comment:
