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Fear



In the deepest darkest part of night,
I wake with heart pounding.
I sputter and gasp and shudder
without knowing why.

To stop breathing sleeping seems to be
I can’t catch my breath it’s
left me cold my feet on the floor.
Like I wanna die.

But that’s not the reality no!
Nighttime heebie jeebies
let loose all demons from their cage.
Force them in again,

now morning has come, let go and run
to the day which is yours
to the bright sunshine or the rain
to fog, it’s the same.

One need only trust in oneself see
a future and make it
create it believe it embrace
positivity.






A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 10 of 10
  • Yvette Champ gold member
    February 1

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    Hon, I could taste the acidity of the adrenaline pumping when faced with a faceless but real feeling of fear, the devilish darkness cloaks chaos but you show how to take flight and be free by the wise words within your last stanza which would serve many as a Quote " Trust in oneself, see a future and make it, create it, believe it, embrace positivity" Amen, sing it Sister!


  • Man of Harlech silver member
    January 28

    Edit | Reply
    The mood of restlessnes is captured very well. The last stanza suggests conflict with what you have written earlier. I would say that you argue against every single statement that you make in that single sentence. You show an amazing transparancy in this poem, which intrigued me very much.


  • sunflowerpoet
    January 27

    Edit | Reply
    Thank you for your entry. I liked the theme. I especially loved the way you ended it on a bright and hopeful note. To stop breathing sleeping seems to be
    I can’t catch my breath it’s
    left me cold my feet on the floor.
    Like I wanna die.
    In those lines, the flow seemed choppy, and a bit forced. I would suggest that they can be improved.
    ~Sunflower.


    • LiMarie silver member
      January 27
      Edit | Reply
      Hello Sunflower, thank you for your comments..Yes I get that the flow seems choppy it's intentional representing not being able to catch one's breath..but if that doesn't come across I need to rethink it.Thanks again, Best, Li

  • http://allpoetry.com/poem/3443200
    some of lines i felt, were broken.
    all demons Wow. nice thought
    in the atmosphere of fear can you think if the day is yours?
    embrace positivity . ehehe. nice

    pretty nice
    by
    the poet of hearts and beautiful word


  • Denerica silver member
    January 24
    Edit | Reply
    Overcoming fear. Well written. From how it grips to what you do to defeat it. Blessings.


  • Byepolar bare
    January 20

    Edit | Reply
    Fear is one of those insipid facts of human reality, isn't it? In the darkness we fear what we do not know. Whether it is the darkness of willful ignorance, the fear of what has yet to come, or just the fear of the dark itself. You bring it to life by very brashly speaking about the physical effects of fear, and then set us free by revealing that it is a short lived effect. Giving us the light. The effect of this piece is palpable.


  • Peteskid gold member
    January 18

    Edit | Reply
    Very expressive here to let us all know the way life seems sometimes, and the way we have to embrace it all face it all to find the things we really want... wonderful...PK

1 - 10 of 10