Nothing burns lungs like your words,
late night phone calls, eyes stinging with salty tears,
smoke dances around my fingers and it doesn't compare
to your suffered whispers, broken hearts,
everything you knew fell apart
and it's my fault.
Rain drops turn to torrents
washing away yesterday and tomorrow smells like
fresh cut grass,
moving on has never been so incredibly hard;
sleep eludes.
I woke up in a different room
apart from you
as the scent of retribution haunts my dreams,
nothing has ever been as it seemed.
Author notes
Prompt:
"as the clouds above
failed to keep their promise
of indifference
becoming smoky shapes
writing the sky
as if it was never blue
just black ink
stained with opinions
collecting like
rain"
- salty, the atlantic
A contest entry
- lemon pepper is divine as hell by notorious.
912 points, ended February 23, 2009, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Any ideas to help me better this?
Comments
-
Excellent imagery
I enjoyed reading your poem very much. It is so sad, but very real. The imagery you used in this was great. Your feelings of guilt and despair were portrayed perfectly, as you made the reader experience the same.
The second stanza is my favorite, showing that time has passed.
You demonstrated your emotions well.
I look forward to reading more from you. Best of luck in the contest.
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