Slowly creeping
Gently seeping
Quickly flowing
Rudely showing
Softly dripping
Smoothly sipping
Loudly trickling
Widely rippling
Darkly thickening
Sometimes sickening
Gushing
Rushing
Lost life-blood
Crimson
A contest entry
- round one (for everyone) prewrite contest ENTER ENTER ENTER (AND YES THAT MEAN'S YOU too by serenity silvermoon.
927 points, ended February 16, 1509 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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Interesting write, good flow here.
Bravo
♥ kate -
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thanks
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"Softly dripping
Smoothly sipping
Loudly trickling
Widely rippling”
These are my favourite lines! Thanks for entering my contest and good luck.
-heva♫
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I agree with the commentor below me; the poem reminds me both of the fast flowing of a river and the river of blood that flows through our veins. It is a shame for such a beautiful poem to end so quickly, but, as the French say, c'est la vie.
I could actually imagine this being spoken in a play or a monologue more than being a piece of poetry, because of it's fast and descriptive focus on one simple element. It would be like a tension building, fast spoken, dark piece, and that seems strangely beautiful to me.
I wish you the best of luck, and keep writing and improving your poetry. ^__^
Aeris Silverlight
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thank you very much. your kind words honor me
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this poem had rather a rapid flow although I believe that blood in our veins does flow like a fast moving river, the end came rather abruptly but so can life itself sometimes.
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this is interesting
the way you decribe it
i liked it
it wasn't simple but i didn't get lost
good job! -
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=) thank you. you just keep making me smile with your comments
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you started it!
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haha i guess i did
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you guess? there is no guessing. you definatly started it!
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ok ok i started it lol
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