I'll close my eyes and count to ten,
And then i'll try and wish again.
'If i may, if it's alright,
May you grant my wish tonight'.
So i'll close my eyes and try again,
I'll count out loud from one to ten.
Tonight my wish is very big,
And i know its something that cant be fixed quick.
But if you could try, and grant it so,
I'd be more greatful than you'd know.
I know i wish every night,
Some are big, some small,
But for this one i must be really brave,
And stand up really tall.
Excuse me God please listen up,
I hope you listen well,
Because my wish i make tonight,
Could save me from my hell.
So if you listen and make this true,
You must do it all right,
Because if not the consiquence,
Is not worth the fight.
So i'll close my eyes and count to ten,
And then i'll try and wish again.
Please please God, if you are there,
And make my wish come true,
I will love you very much
And be so thankful to you.
Im only small, a little girl,
Im only six you see,
But, my grandad hurts me so,
And wont let me be free.
So if i wish to you tonight,
And my wish comes true,
You'll not only help me so,
But will stop me feeling blue.
See, he hates me so, my grandad does,
And hurts me all the time,
He says im bad and must be punished,
When i commit a crime.
But why god did you do this,
Make me so so bad,
Did you know he'd hate me so,
And i'd make him so mad?
Now i'll close my eyes real real tight,
And count from one to ten,
And then my wish may have come true,
About all those evil men.
My wish tonight Mr God up there,
Is that i go away,
Can i live in heaven too,
With the angels, from today.
I'll be so good, and never bad,
And do all what you say,
I'll work real hard to not be bad,
I'll try each and every day.
My grandad helped to train me,
And not make me so bad,
So Im learning hard to be real good
And not make people mad.
Now, i open my eyes and look to you,
But you dont look at me,
I've said my bit and begged to you,
But you wont set me free.
So i'll spend another night with him,
And all his evil men,
But God, tomorrow, you will see,
i'll try over agen.
Author notes
Ok i was having a really bad time just now and went back into major flash backs. When this happens i become a child again and relive my abuse. But something wierd happened just now when i was having a flash back and i remembered something i used to do sometimes, before i lost all faith in god i would pray to him to come save me. So i decided now that i have calmed down a little to right a poem about it. It is kinda written in the prospective of a 6 year old so you have to take that into consideration.......when i come out of flashbacks i am still a child for a little while (obv not in flesh and body but in mind)
A contest entry
- What You Want by fairytalelovestory.
725 points, ended January 22, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Prewrites Only by wingsofgold25.
700 points, ended January 28, 75 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
I hope this doesnt trigger anything for any one. Please leave me a comment, good, bad, what ever you feel. Just please be a little sensative as they are all true stories about my life so far x
Comments
1 - 17 of 17
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Amazing
Your writing is amazing. I wish your abuse was not real. I am so sorry. If you need to chat just message me. My dad used to abuse me.
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Oh dear
how emotional this poem really is. It's sad to read true stories of such child abuse. I am glad you were able to live through it, however it may have been tragic to you. God has blessed you in many more ways than you will ever know. Thank you for sharing your story with all of us here. -
A very sad sad poem indeed and I liked the way you wrote it from the view of a 6 year old. I am asuming that you are an adult now but the memories linger own you have my Prayers
God Bless you.
ED. -
Wow.... Im not sure wat to say. Amazing
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You capture the six-year-old well, the hope and childlike prayer shine through. My prayers to you for coming to terms with your past. It's hard, I know, but not impossible.
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OH wow This is amazing hun. and I know just exactly what you went through. my abuser was my dad. Hug.
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This poem is so sad, and Im very sorry that you had to endure all this pain. No one should ever have to except for I think the people who commit the crime.....They should have to feel how they made they're victims feel. Anyway this is a great poem full of heart felt emotion!
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This poem really touches my heart. I go through flashbacks of my abuse as well, I get out of the flashbacks and still feel like I'm 4 again. I know your pain. Unfortunately, I still haven't had counseling for it. I feel it's too late. I am 17 years old, and I was abused by my step-father when I was between the ages of 3 and 5, and I am still holding on strong. This poem is amazingly written.
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Awww babe, i am so so sorry that you have had to go through such pain.
You are NOT too old tho. Seriously i mean i am 19 and i have been in and out of therapy since i was baout 8. But now in the last year has been the only time my therapy has actually started to work. I mean where i go, it is for people who have been sexually abused as a child, and all the therapists were abused them selves. So it is amazing....but some of the people that go there are like 40 upwards....seriously!
Statisticly a large number people dont start to talk about or disclose their abuse until they reach at least the age of 35 so you are not too OLD by any length!!
If you could bring your self to give therapy a try i can garanty in the long run it will help. I mean it takes a lot of time....and can get worse before it gets better but it does help. Sometimes it takes a while to find the right person...ie it is kinda a bit of trial and error but eventually you will find someone who you feel totally comfortable with and be able to trust them. But you WILL find someone and it will work for you. Please i am begging you, think about it, i mean you dont have to go yet, but it is something to consider.
x
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It was good, made me feel sad but well write
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very powerfull write, but very sad xxx
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its very powerful and so sad :'( nobody should have done that to you.
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='[ wow, this is heartbreaking, the waterworks have started again lol.
I wish that your wishes could've been granted... not the being dead bit... but, you know... making it stop or something.
x x x
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a beautiful poem. so sad, and heartbreaking. im still here for you if you want to talk , okay?
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i used to do the same thing. i use to pray that god would bring demons to devour my parents...i know how it feels to be so lost and scared. it hurts, it sux. this is a beautiful poem, well done
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"'If i may, if it's alright,
May you grant my wish tonight'. "
That part was a bit sketchy and didnt flow very well. This poem was very repetetive and very long. Almost like a novel, long. It seems like you wrote certain parts over and over again. Perhaps it wouldn't be such a great length if you cut out some of the parts that were similar?
As for the actual peice its self I found it to be quite sad and rather entriging. I'm sorry that something like this happened to you. You're writing could use a bit of touching up, but even I can't say that mine is perfect. I wish you well
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aww soo soo sad..it really made me cry ='[ i feel so bad you went through soo much shit...it makes me soo angry what your grandad did and im so sorry. but ill always be here to listen ill never ever ever EVER go away! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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