Whose Daughter Am I
©copyright 200 Bonita M Quesinberry
I.
You asked whose daughter am I,
and I have to pause to analyze.
You see, there was my father
and a step Dad; both loved in my eyes.
Yet, there's much to consider.
My father wasn't there to raise me;
though, I am so much like him.
His love was the one to keep me free.
Dad, who was gentle and kind,
but loved by molesting the young me.
Though my father never knew,
his brand of love erased hate, you see.
You asked whose daughter am I.
Still, I've two fathers to finalize:
father's DNA I share,
Father's mind and heart sparkle my eyes.
II.
Perry was my earth father
God is my dedicated Father
but I also loved my dad . . .
by the grace of Heaven and the earth
In a list
A contest entry
- Women Only (prewites welcome) by Danna Hobart.
490 points, ended January 29, 2009, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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Very sad and touching. Thanks for entering.
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Ah this one tugs on the heart strings mom! I also was molested by my stepdad, yet I never knew my real father... none-the-less, my heavenly Father has not left me for a moment! Your writing always gives me much to think about! I love you!
Sandy
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Thank you, sweetheart. I feel the greatest thing to remember when it comes to forgiving anyone is the fact that chances are they were victims long before we were even a thought. After all, everyone has the same enemy.
Luv & hugs, MomB
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My father died when I was 19 and my mom married several different times . One of my stepfather's tried to molest me but didn't get far. Thank the Lord . it isn't easy to forgive but we have to for our own peace of mind. Good poem
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Thank you so much, Rose, for the kind comments and for sharing your story. I do believe I was blessed at birth; but, more importantly, I find it easy to forgive when one understands who and what we are truly: spiritual beings wearing these bodies like a garment. So, the negatives happened to my body, not to me. After all, our perpetrators were victims long before we were even a thought. We all have the same enemy.
Luv & hugs, BonnieQ
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OHHHHH
Yes I know this story well. But I am not as able as you, to forgive my stepdad, though I try and I feel it getting easier as I get older. My father as you read in my poem was a very mean man so I am so blessed that my Heavenly Father protected me from him, though I did not realize the truth of that until I reached adulthood and met him.
After spending a short time with him before he died, I called my mother and asked her to forgive me for the mean things I said as a child about wanting my "real dad" and thanked her for having the strength to leave my dad though they weren't married in the 1950's and go out on her own. She cried, and my mother never cries.
I love the part where you say your fathers brand of love was able to erase the hate... that is so very important for girls.. to be loved by a father.. paving the way for them to be loved as a women.
I love this poem, it touches on a difficult subject in a delicate and forgiving way. It is full of Grace as I imagine you are as well.
...... Jo
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Thank you so much, Jo, for the kind comments and for sharing your story. I do believe I was blessed at birth; but, more importantly, I find it easy to forgive when one understands who and what we are truly: spiritual beings wearing these bodies like a garment. So, the negatives happened to my body, not to me. After all, our perpetrators were victims long before we were even a thought. We all have the same enemy.
Luv & hugs, BonnieQ
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WOW
You show strength through such a time as this in your younger days, to forgive knowing our Father. Blessings.
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You are an exceptional women, Bonnie.. I do not think I could ever be as forgiving or as strong as you.. I have never been in such a position, my father was left with myself and my 2 older brothers when I was just 3 and my mother left.. He was a kind and loving man, though short of temper and not very demonstrative, we all knew he loved us without the words being spoken very often.. It was not an easy task raising a girl who was overly sensitive to a fault, but he did his best.. If I had been in your situation, I'm not sure I could have survived without being fractured into many pieces.. You are very special.. I thank you for your comments and your beautiful poetry..
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Not exceptional, sweetie; merely blessed undeservedly. This is what I mean, however, by seeing beyond the veil of illusion cloaking this temporary life here on earth. We've only to ask and God will allow us to see clearly through that veil to the real reality.
Again, thank you so much for sharing your story with me. I do see a lot of parallels and uniqueness, too.
Luv & hugs, BonnieQ
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Conflicting.......
Good thing we have a heavenly Father to help us sort out the conflictions and forgive the marred image of "Him" in our minds and hearts. God helps us do that. I am encouraged that you can separate the human from the spiritual and sum it up in the end for "love." If that makes any sense.....I myself am in a healing process for the exact same thing......So, this poem hits hard.
Love,
Annette
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I believe I must have been born blessed, precious Sis; for even then I could see beyond my step dad's conflicting behaviour to the hurting man inside and who really was a very gentle, loving man. But, as I note here, I had the most loving memories of my biological father, thus was blessed to grow up adoring men as opposed to mistrusting and hating them.
Then, there is my Father in the truest sense, God always has shown me love, always when I needed to feel it most. Truly, He taught me to see beyond what I see with my own eyes, and what I see never matches the finite visual. I applied that same principal to my mother, who on the surface was very, very abusive; yet, beyond was a child who felt abandoned and unloved. . . in so much pain.
Thank you so much for the most needed prayer. I am experiencing physical symptoms I've never had before and have been at a loss as to what to do from a natural point of view. The hours of a day and night are no longer my own, but I do know from experience that our Father is not going to let Satan continue this attack much longer; so, I look forward to the break He has scheduled for me. I join you in your prayer and add my AMEN!
Thank you, also, for the great review and I do hope what I shared here will aid you in your healing process: Only God, and you know it.
Much love and hugs, SisBon 
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