It burns in such strange ways, your love
Crushing solids to liquids
Bringing gas to molecular indescribable(s)
That time you made a pass
Had me calling the press
Clever, and I can no longer tell gender
Stories, that's what I loved the most
You married a lame dwarf (though you were perfect(ly))
under mountains -- when we all knew...
You were foam born, from nuts like us
Castrated father, motherless
You and I have so much in common
But under this lens
(I can't help that)
I still want you.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
-
I've read this a whole bunch of times.
I have to tell you that when I first read it I thought it sounded really pretty and all that but I didn't really understand it. I figured a bunch of stuff was going on in it but it was over my head. I was happy to see that you explained it to someone else so I could understand it better. And I think it's really cool how you put all those things together into one poem. I liked how it turned out!
-
You're too clever and talented and beautiful for words... so I'll shut up!
-
make her a goddess and she'll fall from the pedestal... make her a woman and she'll eat the nuts and sink a beer with you
love this J... you write most beautifully my friend
-
a good poemContemporary literature, by contrast, is commonly a retreat into the writer's consciousness.'and I can no longer tell gender' gives me the dissolution of individual identity in the act of love, attainment of transmutation
a beautiful poem
-
It is the strongest among us
that reaches out to others
And having connected
Compounded communication
Continues
Subliminal
In spite of
Obstacles\ or absence -
not sure I completely got the point of this piece, but it certainly utilises much creativity and a diverse vocabulary. well constructed and keep on trying new things and developing your style.
-
-
Well, to clarify, it's true. A day is longer than a year on venus. Venus also known as aphrodite is earths twin, and the goddess of love, she married hephaestus. this poem is a scientific mix of love, astronomy, and mythology. It's a riddle lost in the definition of aphrodite (venus) born from uranus' castration.
-
-
thanks for the clarification, blending science, love and legend (mythology). Thanks for sharing such a complex piece for us to emerse ourselves in.
-
-
-
...
-
I like the easy melding of myth and reality here, as recognition that through love we transcend time and reach the eternal.
The line 'and I can no longer tell gender' gives me the dissolution of individual identity in the act of love, attainment of transmutation of something base into something precious, as in the process of alchemy.
Also, and I can't find the word, but the process of integration of personality, as in Jungian practice.
But surely, the ocean is her mother?
-
...
Adding your comment:
1 - 11 of 11
