Deep passionate words that slowly etched on the skin over time
As t he touch grows into words that burn down to the core of the soul
Sealed forever in one heart,mind and body for a life time of memories
Now my beloved your words and images burn into my heart
Not letting me forget our love that burn true
Now I know the road of true love never runs smoothly
Remembering the twinkle of your blue eyes in the dark of the bedroom
Barely touching my nose with such a gentle loving caress
Now this touch is one of a few memories I shall cherish
When you left for work that day it is etched in my heart
burnt and sealed by destiny fate that I was not where of
You went to work, I tried to get you to play hooky with me
The last famous words" I will see you after work."
Only hours may have known the truth
It was the last time I seen him alive
I always tried to etch threes words into his heart
I love you
Deep down we do not know the time and hour of death and birth
I hope he wore those words with him before God and all
A contest entry
- Looking For Soulful Emotion {Quickie} by Errant Panther.
670 points, ended January 17, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
A
Comments
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very sad ending. we should take more days off from work to enjoy our loved ones.
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A very well constructed piece that expresses your personal feelings toward someone effectively. Just a couple of minor necessary edits stand out: in the second line there is an extra space between t and he where I think you meant to have "the" and in the second last line "I always tried to etch threes words into his heart" perhaps could read "I've always tried to etch these three words into his heart".
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B~
He knows how much you loved/and still love him. Forever keep those memories etched in your heart, they will help carry you when you need them too. I had to learn that the hard way hon, and it is not easy. I hope you know and remember that the love will always remain, and be there for you when you need it most!
Best of luck in this contest!
and love
Nyetta
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This is a lovely though sad rememberance of love and loss, touching the highlights of significant memories. Though this may have been painful to write I sense that their is a lightness of heart in the plesant memories that made that relationship so sweet and special. Thank you for sharing your love, your life and your heart. May God continue to bless you, comfort and strengthen you all your days.
Brother Dennis
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