To save yourself (SI)

When there is nothing left, you think of it-
the burning sensation as you draw down your arm-
the small pinheads of red, swelling against your skin.

The Disney princess band aids, the pretty scarf around your neck,
the silver bangles you keep in your drawer just in case,
in case you lose your self control.

It happens when you least expect it, suddenly you can't breathe,
the darkness is swallowing you in the middle of the day-
the emptiness is chewing its way out from deep inside you.

One nick, you promise yourself- one small cut and you're done,
one lit match against your wrist, cover it up,
but it never ends that way.

It never ends without losing something,
to keep yourself afloat- you lose another piece of your heart,
to save your self, you die.