Crash!
The silence pounds
like a herd of angry elephants
bound,
the words come, but
no sound is heard,
Shhh!
The silence crawls
like ants creeping
into this corridor
of Chaos,
the words come, but
no sound is heard,
__________
Arise and Listen
to them beating away,
as the wind
chimes out songs
played on deaf tongue,
Dido has gone,
Only that faint melody remains,
but she has taken with her
the sound of words
that hunger
for a voice
to carry them.
She has left me alone, again
in search for
Harmony.
Author notes
It may not make any sense, and I am sorry if it doesn't. I've been feeling a little off today. It's my birthday. I would appreciate any comments on it. I know that it is very obscure.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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i love it
sad but great poem...!!!all was perfect
overall amazing poem
maybe you are interesting to my offer this is a group called "the power of darkness"
this group is great
http://allpoetry.com/group/show/the+power+of+darkness
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Most impressed. Powerful write; well crafted. Are you familiar with "The elephant in the room, that no one talks about"? Meaning an obvious problem that society (family?) has made untouchable...
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beautifully crafted
I think it sounds very good. I like the last 3 lines of the poem "She has left me alone again, in search for harmony." -
this makes perfectly good sense to me. my favorite part was:
The silence pounds like a herd of angry elephants bound,
the power within those words is absolutely amazing. thank you for sharing this with me today and i am looking forward to reading more from you in the near future. viyanna rosemarie
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I like the use of repetion and onamatopiea (sry hard word to spell) in the beginning. I think you should have kept that pattern though
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Thanks so much for the wonderful comment on this. I like your suggestions. I haven't went back in and revised it yet. I was waiting to get some suggestions on what to work on. Oh and I think you have spelled the words correctly. Thanks again for the great comment and ideas.
becca
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Wow, good diction, and easy to read! Splendid job on it. Is Dido a name of a person, if I may ask?
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Thank you so much for the comment on this. I appreciate it more than I can say. Dido is actually one of the goddesses in the Aenied by Vergil. The story behind her is that she fell in love with Aeneas (who was a mortal). After they did the big nasty. He left her. She begged him to marry her, but he refused. In her sorrow, she attempted to kill herself, but because she was a goddess she was immortal. She begged the other goddesses and gods to let her die, and eventually they did let her die. She went into the underworld with all of her pain and suffering of not being loved. It was a very sad story. I had to read it for one of my college classes. There was more to the story, but I can't remember all of it, I just remember she died because of lost love. Thanks again for the wonderful comment on this. I appreciate it very much.
becca
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WeLLLL, it makes perfect sense to me, (apart from the named reference which does not matter to the reader) the profundity if found within the haunting of sounds, the specter of silence, sorrow of loneliness, all, so wonderfully presented. That this is a birthday poem makes this doubly sad to read. I found your line “the sound of words that hunger for a voice” particularly impacting – I had to swallow a throat-lump, hard, when I read it. So this communicates volumes to me. Maybe because I’ve read so much of your work over the years (OMG - ?? - has it really been YEARS??) Many of your poems have carved memorable spaces within my mind and heart. May your birthday week be filled with blessings and peaceful retrospect as you lean into another new year of exploration. May our mutual Blessings and best wishes,
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Bravo!!!
I like this unique piece that captivates me so, your poetry is beautiful sweet soul!
And may I wish you a Happy Birthday, and many more wonderful years sweet sis! I love you! 
Peace, brother Timothy
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Thank you so much brother for your wonderful comment on this piece. Your comments always mean so much to me. You are truly an encouragement in the dark world we live in. Thanks again Timothy for all of your comments and words.
s
becca
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-hugs- sis.
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Hmmmm this was really interesting. It was a bit interesting, if not confusing. Hmmm, i dont have any comments has to how to fix it I'm sorry so i know my comment is of no use. But I like it how it is. Its different, makes you think lolz.
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Thank you so very much for your honest comment. It was meant to be a little confusing. It was actually written about confusion of love lost. It is that feeling someone feels after a breakup or even more so death of the one true love. It's like you can feel the words rising up, but you really just don't want to talk about it. And, the memories remain behind, sometimes pounding out in the head and other times just the gentle melody of them. The harmony is gone, but the melody remains. Sometimes leaving you feeling a little chaotic. You want to cry out but can't talk about it. Yeah, it is very confusing. Sorry, I have rambled on. This was actually just words that popped in my head when I woke up this morning so I decided to write it all down. Thanks so much again for the wonderful comment. I honestly expected that reaction. It was what I was looking for.
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