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Such Seclusion as This.





It gathered, as walls closing, as a breath
Exhaling softly, upon me, as a summer's winds
Enfolding a heart, the very center, that knew of love
That knew forever, could be seen in the eyes
Of a lover, that not even time, kept
Those secrets, when all that we possess, is a moment.

It was there, where water met the sands, a moment
Passed as lightning from the Gods, stealing my breath
As a storm might steal the sun, as the ocean so kept
Locked within her depths those lost, felled by the winds
On a voyage through tomorrow, when last the eyes
Would close, seeing only, of love.

Yet I was frail, parched of the waters, this love
Before me offered a deliverance, beyond the moment
Whereby the valley shone, by the hue of her eyes
And walls fell, by the continuum of a breath
Ever spent within the tangible, within the winds
For by the slipstream of a crescent moon, we were kept.

Laughter played her joyous tune, and we danced, kept
By the subtle nuance of a piano keyed, love
Was spilled upon the floor in dreams, where winds
Would rise to gather our spirits, entwined within a moment
That we not return the earth, but passed each our breath
In search of the vulnerable eyes.

In fields we lay, gazing at drifting clouds, watching eyes
Pass upon us knowing, of the fold by which we kept
Our hearts, in servitude of hope, that by each breath
We might be one, two empty vessels, filled by a love
Of unequaled creation, wherein a single moment
Would form the mountains, the sea, the winds.

And now, that it may find you, I utter upon the winds
Your name, as by this utterance, you will behold my eyes
And see the nakedness of a soul, unbound by the moment
Free of the tide, a spirit bare, to only be kept
By you, for what could be more free as love?
That falls, each wall, as a drifting winter's breath.


For now the winds, may nevermore be kept.
And eyes, may drink deep this chalice of love.
And a moment, may become the beauty of the ethereal breath.



..

Author notes

A Sestina.

A contest entry

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 5 of 5

  • Edie gold member
    July 31

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    It's this secret Roberto that never fails to turn a person inside out. So romantic and lovely.

    I have read other sestinas and sometimes they seem a little awkward in their efforts to keep to the constraints...the story or message somehow disjointed and discombobulated. That's not the case here. It reads effortless and flows throughout...from beginning to end.

    Like a really good song.


  • sunoir
    February 15

    Edit | Reply
    A difficult form to pull off such a beautiful piece. Double kudos and a Bravo ! Think I will just buy stocks in a tissue company might be cheaper. Pulls out another tissue....sigh!


  • Paloszoo gold member
    January 22

    Edit | Reply
    Wow. This is outstanding. I'm not a fan of love poems at all, but this brought tears to my eyes. BRAVO! Thanks for entering my contest. I'm honored to have you show your work here!


  • cricketjeff gold member
    January 22

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    Paloszoo has asked me to co-judge with an eye to form so this comment is centred on form, my opinion of the rest won't count in the judging

    The sestina is an ancient and very difficult form and you have used the sestina repeat words well the poem makes sense and many sestinas don't!
    Traditionally the lines would be iambic pentameter or at least in a regular repeated meter but this more "free form" sestina works well.

    A good job


    Jeff


  • Amera gold member
    January 18
    Edit | Reply
    I'm mad at you! I might have missed this poem! Don't you know that you should send me the link to your best works? This is amazing, I love it! First of all, I'm a sucker for love poems and second; I'm the Sestina teacher here on AP so I have a special love for difficult poetry to compose. Few poets have composed a Sestina let alone a good one. This poem is world class.

    Love,
    Amera♥

1 - 5 of 5