early snowdrops
left on the doorstep
I catch my breath
Author notes
A late winter haiku, for Valentines Day 2009, in 4-5-4 format.
In a list
A contest entry
- Valentine Card ~ Haiku Style by misticmoonlite.
600 points, ended January 18, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 28 of 28
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Hoodwinked!
There's suspense in this piece, that makes the reader draw their breath and hold it. It's commemorative of that moment you step into crisp cold air. Very well done.
Sorry that I am late with the hoodwink!
Shari
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simply breathtaking ...
can I send you some yellow light-bulbs in return ?
mimosa-perfume is my secret medicine for melancholy ...
much love
marion
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mimosa-perfume... that's a thought.
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"snowdrops" I really like that! You get so much imagery in so few words. Impressive!
Love,
Amera♥
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Lovely imagery. Excellent use of possible dual interpretations of "snowdrops". An uplifting, hopefu white after the long, chill, barren whites of winter.
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There is always that possible double meaning with that flower. In this case I am leaning towards their being a gift from a secret admirer, left on a doorstep on valentine day. Too subtle for the contest-setter, I guess, who didn't even place it above the line!
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I should have gotten that from it, had I stopped to read the contest title! Grandma taught me my flowers. There is always a reliance on the reader to share some frame of reference familiar to the writer. Sometimes we win, sometimes... BTW, I loved it
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Delicately painted, as a piece of Japanese porcelain.
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domo arigato
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Quite simply...
Beautiful!
Sue
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If I can do that with a haiku, then I know I really can write them. Thank you.
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Crisp as a piece of freshly-starched linen - simply delightful!
Best of luck,
Bill
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Thanks Bill.
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good
Great haiku like poem good message,love the imagery here and the thoughts behind it. you done a great job and are a talented poet you have painted a clear vision. There were no errors. No typo's and nothing to change as far as i can see. I look forward to your next one
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I write them sparingly.
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Beautiful imagery, I can feel the coold air chilling and frosting my breath. Very enjoyable sensation for me Love this tiny hiaku.
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Is it late Winter
in Scotland? Brrr!
Succinct haiku. I am glad you do not entertain the 5 7 5 nonsense.
Fresh as aDaisy ..... snowdrop!Thank you. At 4am in the morning, this is most refreshing. I'd drop around now with red largaestroma but, you see, I am not able.
Best wishes with your excellent Ku. :)
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It will be late winter on the date referred to in the contest, O beardless one!
I feel shackled by 5-7-5, but disciplined and freed by 4-5-4.
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you old romantic you
Love it
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Less of the "old"!
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wonderful little haiku, think your aha moment is excellent... good luck in the contest
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Thank you.
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I still don't see how poets come up with such creative Haiku's but more power to you. That was simply beautiful. Great work
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By waiting for the moment, rather than writing them for the sake of writing them. Haiku is an experience, rather than poetry. It is a mode where thought and action in the poet become one with the reaction in the reader, and as such it can't be forced. It is totally, utterly zen.
Thank you for the praise.
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so true
it is breath taking to watch as it flows to ground and lays so gently, thank you for this entrly
good luck
mm
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