Babbage Engine

I'm taking over,
reestablishing control of my psyche,
saving some time for my infinite soul.
Or the little time I have left with it.
My conceptualizations have gotten too far out of hand,
so I don't even know what where why or how I got to wherever it is I think I fucking am.

I'm ready to admit I don't know.

I wanted to be a computer guru,
now I certainly am;
profoundly beyond human touch and experience,
admired and exhalted for my esoteric knowledge...
yet all around very much,
so much less all the same.

I can translate binary, hexadecimal, to decimal notation,
I can enumerate all of the variables,
scan quickly for the criteria,
and divine an ultimate answer.

I have little understanding though of the signals you're sending me,
with your odours and your eyes.
I like you, I think, but I can't seem to remember your name.


I know we have shared many moments in conversation,
and I know some strange unclassified aphasia has taken over.

Don't even ask me who I am,
I left that old shoe at the door long ago,
I do not know what I look like,
or how other people percieve me,
I have completely abandoned that ability.

I look in the mirror and it's too complicated for me to even begin to comprehend this magic.

I'll just be talking shit in a small crowd,
people are listening intently,
and suddenly looks turn strange,
I have crossed some border I have little hope of understanding.

Some social clique cue,
some mixed company moment...
I will never ever understand,
in my esoteric little macrocosm.

I often don't know what not to say in conversations.

Once I gave up being a chameleon,
I discovered,
identity is so ever changing and incomprehensible,
now I've learned;
catering to your audience,
isn't so lacking in authenticity as I'd previously supposed.

I am stepping outside of the logic that has given me a lucrative occupation,
and interesting hobby.

Everybody loves computers.
Everyone loves having interesting brains.

I am so far into my distractions...
I've forgotten how to exist in the real world.

I need to whittle sticks, go fishing, and get the fuck out of digital town for awhile.
See what the analogue people are doing.
Stupid, forgetting the largest part of the universe vibrates infinitely.