She was a girl
A happy girl with smiles
So few toils and trials
She has memories of these times
But those times have died
Despite how hard she tried
To keep them seen
She was a teen
Her life full of pain
Arm full of scars
But then he came
And she could escape the pain
Eyes full of tears
He helped ease the fears
That on her soul
Wore a whole
But like all things of the past
This happiness didn't last
She grew up plenty
Now she's twenty
And a smile she has
She cast the past
Herself she used to abhor
Now, confidence from every pore
No one can tell her what to do
Especially not you!
She is a girl, no longer in the past
She is the girl who will last
The test of time
She's doing just fine
On herself she depends
To fend of the liars
To fend of the theifs
Who all want to be
What makes her happy
The stuff that makes her smile
Then turns hostile
But I make her smile
I relive the pile
Of needs and wants
The stuff the haunts
Her, for nights on end
I defend
Her through the nights
Until the sorrow takes flight
And now I'm free
For you see
This girl is me
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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Very expressive and it touches the deepest...beautiful.I've been touched by what you write.
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i love everyhting about it i just started on this site and i hope when i am able to post my poems i get as much feedback to make me stronger
i still have a hard time pooring how i feel on paper -
Very Nice
I like this piece. It flows really well and they way you rhyme makes easy to read. The vocabulary that you use works really well. Not too complicated but not too simple. It really makes me wonder if You personally experienced this or if it was just something to write. I also really like how you paint a picture of the girl in the story. You can feel the pain she had to go through. This is really a great piece. Nice Job!
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wow this is wonderful i really love your rhyming scheme. my fav. parts are.....
She was a teen
Her life full of pain
Arm full of scars
But then he came
And she could escape the pain
Eyes full of tears
He helped ease the fears
That on her soul
Wore a whole
But like all things of the past
This happiness didn't last
and
She grew up plenty
Now she's twenty
She cast the past
And a smile she has
the first lines hold a lot of emotion it shows that even thought you were alone someone manage to get to you. The seconnd line shows me that eventually you got strong enough to defend your own happiness. Overall you did a good job in putting all those strong emotion into words.
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simple but beautifull
A very good poem
I defend
Her through the nights
Until the sorrow takes flight
And now I'm free
For you see
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i liked this. i am a huge fan of rhyming but i feel as if it was a bit much also. maybe its because of the length. i dont really know exactly. it was a little bit difficult to hold concentration. i think it was just due to the rhyming. that really is the only thing alter about this poem. other than that, i think it was great and you had a great message. very strong and powerful!
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this is really neat. I like it. Though the rhyme seems a bit forced it gets the message across well. Good write.
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This is good. Well written. Good flow and rhyme.
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