When I get angry.
I start to shake.
Clench my fists.
And say fuck this.
You make me cry.
You make me angry.
I want you to die.
I'm not here.
I'm not alone.
I'll be calm.
For you alone.
I do love you.
With all my heart.
Please be with me.
Or we shall part.
Your by my side.
I see your face.
When I close my eyes.
Your the golden gates.
Your perfection
My love
My soul
Your part of me.
Author notes
Issues, boys tsk..tsk...
A contest entry
- Odd........(CLICK ME) by Jaffa-.
510 points, ended February 6, 29 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Loooove! :) :) :) by jamesbliss.
459 points, ended April 15, 147 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think?
Comments
-
I really loved it. I thought if yiou don't mind my input that one tiny thing broke up the flow a little
'I do love you.
With all my heart.
Please be with me.
Or I shall die in my heart.'
The use of heart twice so close together sort of interupted the flow a little. Sorry for starting on aq bad note but it does get better. I really liked the flow and the ryhme, where you used it seemed to just flow. It really seemed like it wasn't forced. A very well done. Thank you for the great entry.xo -
Very good write!! You did a very good job writing this one! AMAZING!!! Keep up the good work!
Shannon*Leah
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