Golden sweet embers
create an opiate ambience,
as they smolder amidst
a fiery canvas of heaven
Moths gather in
the flickering skyline,
an exhibition of magnificence,
viewed in the peripheral of paradise
On an island sketched by guardian angels
born from the prayers of a child,
I hold fast to this fantasy
while my mind drifts
I lay on pink sands listening to
the thrashing of waves upon the shore,
yawning in a dreamlike state of splendor,
having escaped the thorns and thistles
of an otherwise mundane existence
Author notes
Here are all the words I used from
the word bank. I hope you like the images
I was able to create.
embers exhibition ambience peripheral
child thorn sketch hold fast moth
guardian canvas yawn prayer sands opiate
A contest entry
- Prompt: Word Bank by Todays Poem Box.
2000 points, ended February 1, 2009, 20 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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Congrats. on the Gold
Fine poem with all words used up so naturally.
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Excellent job with the word bank!
15/15 words used.
Perfect imagery. Great flow. Nice, beautiful theme.
Thanks for entering and best of luck!
Write on.
~*~
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I lay on pink sands listening to
the thrashing of waves upon the shore,
yawning in a dreamlike state of splendor,
Those are beautiful filled images of a place we would all like to visit. Gorgeous imagery. Luck to you in the contest. -
I loved the way your line lengths worked into your poem. Your descriptions grew as the dream grew and shrank as you came back to earth, the poet's state of mind. I thought this was a beautiful poem. I was distracted a bit by your wording, though, the words you are using, especially in the beginning of this poem. Your phrases in the first stanza or so is full of vocabulary that seems unnecessary. You didn't include a regular word for any of it. And I don't think "Moth's" should include the apostrophy, since it doesn't seem to be a conjunction or implying ownership. Anyway- minor details in what otherwise is a wonderful piece of work.
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wonderful
oh for summer again. seems so far away. thanks for the trip
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This is excellent truly well written what lovely lovely piece!!! Ur imagery is so Beautiful you portray such an amazing picture in this piece!!! I love it!!! I LOVE U!!!
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