Runing in circles
Can't find the door
Locked within walls
Shut from the world
I claw at the ground
And scream no sound
What is wrong
With the world around
Finding a seam
A crack in the wall
Break my way free
I'm not ready to fall
Breathe the new air
Seeing the sun
I have escaped
I have won
Author notes
so, i hope this fits the contest. It's what i thought about when I thought of escaping (i have a very vivid imagination)
A contest entry
- Escape! by SeaWithYourHeart.
1050 points, ended January 25, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
like or dislike? what do you really think?
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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brilliant, simple and clear, perfect metter and rhyme throughout and I loved the ending and the story you told.
the ending was like the epiphany to a happy ending.
"I claw at the ground
And scream no sound
What is wrong
With the world around"
#best lines I think
well done
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this is really good. i think you did such a good job with the imagery in it. i like it, and i think anyone could relate.
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yay!
oh wow, love it. love it love it! really good, nice choice for background too, suits it. only think i didnt like was the 'and scream no sound' because for it to make sence, there should be sort of a pause between the scream and no. it just disrupted the flow for me. great job! im also glad i was the first to comment on this
its a privlidge
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ah, the scream no sound is that i am screaming the soundlessness. like you open your mouth and no sound comes out. so there isnt a pause it is supposed to follow the rythm from the previous line, if i had broken it it would have been too short. thank you for the comment.
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D'oh
ah, that makes sense...
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