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Beach Story

1.
We made angels in the sand
watched them leave for heaven
as the tide came in.

2.
On this soon to be forgotten morning
the foam clings to the beach.
The sharp stinging wind shreds it like dreams.

3.
Spent my last dollar to win you a pink panther.
Even on the boardwalk pier I could
hear the ocean washing the shore away.
Best dollar I ever spent.

4.
No season matches the other. They
are similar but never the same. You
left footprints all along the beach.

10:49 AM
January 15, 2008
Alexandria, VA

Author notes

Prompt: ~~"These are wasted days without affection; I'm not
that foolish anymore...I'm letting go, you'll be fine"

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think, what it makes you feel, how you are moved.

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 30 of 30

  • Treasure 5 gold member
    January 23

    Edit | Reply

    Awsome

    wonderful flow of words. I like the beach scene, I like the idea, of making angels in the sand. Me and my daughter use to make angels in the snow.


    • tomisb
      January 23
      Edit | Reply
      I used the beach in a many layered innuendo and metaphor. I wanted to catch the flavor of my first marriage and how it now feels like just a wisp of a moment. Yet, I also wanted to catch the depth of the impression it made upon me and how childish we were. I hope I caught a few of these things.

      Love, Tom B.


  • Draig aine gold member
    January 22
    Edit | Reply

    well done on th shiny

    a wonderful write


    • tomisb
      January 22
      Edit | Reply
      Glad you enjoyed this glimpse of memories.
      Love, Tom B.


  • forethought
    January 22

    Edit | Reply
    These are nice and concise, and tell a very good story. Thank you for sharing this lovely piece, and congratulations on your win.


  • Antipodi
    January 19

    Edit | Reply
    A golden yearning for yesterday in this exquisite verse some beautiful imagery and a wonderful flow of the ocean

    • tomisb
      January 19
      Edit | Reply
      Just because the sands are wiped clean does not mean the event did not happen. I choose to let myself remember and be bigger for it.
      Peace & Light,
      Tom B.


  • Blue Rew silver member
    January 19

    Edit | Reply
    The ending...like fireworks only seen, not heard
    explodes upon the reader and gives heightened clarity to the rest. There are those memories that linger because they have purpose and this is clearly one. A reminder to be happy it was experienced, part of your seasons, rather then something passed-by entirely. Blue

    • tomisb
      January 19
      Edit | Reply
      Once the grief of a marriage ended had been completed, I found all these memories that reminded me of how we had loved. Yes, It is part of my seasons, not to be forgotten, by now for certain -- past.

      Love, Tom B.


  • klassy lassy
    January 18

    Edit | Reply
    The ever moving sands and ceaseless roll of the ocean is a strange paradox of infinity and that which is swallowed up in time. We leave our footprints on forever, and I can't help wondering if the ascending angels keep track of them.

    There is a surreal quality to this poem, disappearing footprints, dollars, angels and dreams... but the memory remains etched on the pages of the heart, becoming part of the vastness of yourself.

    You leave some lovely impressions, Tomis.

    Karen

    • tomisb
      January 19
      Edit | Reply
      I wanted to catch the contrasts of my first marriage. The first vingette catches all of the joy and its fragileness. You nailed it with the word disappearing. Thanks for stopping by.
      Love, Tom B.


  • MacDad
    January 18

    Edit | Reply

    Nice Work

    I liked it all, the feeling of being at the beach, the feeling of time gone by, of memories. I especially like the last line.

    Well done!

    • tomisb
      January 19
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks. I thought the vingette format heightened the sense of memories. Glad the rest of the poem succeeded.
      Peace & Light,
      Tom B.


  • Ithica silver member
    January 16

    Edit | Reply
    One of these days I will start realeasing some pressure in the dam... The ease with which you showcase these memories is yet another lesson from you. I am still a little afraid of the dark water that comes with the flood... Another jewel for your cache!!!

    • tomisb
      January 16
      Edit | Reply
      Like the new avatar.
      Sorry to tell you the damn is already leaking and when you lay in the light of the moon and allow yourself the comfort of your feelings they shall dance like dreams in a waltz across your creative soul.

      Love, Tom B.


  • ennovy silver member
    January 16

    Edit | Reply
    You loved, then seem to set her free like the gull flying high above...good memories, and sad ones seem to balance the ambiance......glad you can smile about those memories....excellent write...novy

    • tomisb
      January 16
      Edit | Reply
      We were married for eight years with the highest highs and the lowest lows. Co-dependency does that. It was never about love, but about not knowing how to be in a healthy relationship. Glad you enjoyed.
      Love, Tom B.


  • geckogirl silver member
    January 16

    Edit | Reply
    inspirational yet a sad piece... I personally love making sand angels, the best was on a beach called white haven, the sand was soft & white..... Sir Tomis again I remove mu hat for you
    Suz

    • tomisb
      January 16
      Edit | Reply
      Yeah, it is bittersweet and full of smiles. My first marriage was a perfect case of co-dependency. It was never about how much we loved each other, it was always about not knowing how.
      Love, Tom B.


      • geckogirl silver member
        January 16
        Edit | Reply
        Mine was perfect! Some how, we got lost though. Just never found our way back.

        Suz


  • Cannonsfire
    January 15

    Edit | Reply
    I have tried to make sand angels, it's not easy as sand falls back on itself, a lot like memories do and you paint them so vividly it's easy to view them in your words. C

    • tomisb
      January 15
      Edit | Reply
      Always practical when practicalities are of little concern. I've learned that memories are their own truth. Distillations of feelings wrapped around key events.
      Love, Tom B.


  • Aurielle
    January 15

    Edit | Reply
    I like the second one

    The first line of the third was funny

    Very smooth calmnig rememberancce of love
    quite humour seems like where you were at a younger age
    Ahhh pink panther

    • tomisb
      January 15
      Edit | Reply
      True story. I had to throw a quoit around a block with no room to spare and it left my hand and came down over it like God had guided it. She got the pink panther and i was left with a sense of wonder.

      Given my level of anxiety back then, humor was my saving grace. This was bits and pieces of memories from my first marriage. Glad you enjoyed.
      Love, Tom B.

  • tara wilson gold member
    January 15

    Edit | Reply
    this is absolutely beautiful; i love vignette one.
    the mood you captured with this takes me there, i feel like this person also left footprints along you that summer...lovely poetry

    • tomisb
      January 15
      Edit | Reply
      It is a memory bubble from my first marriage. Perhaps that is why it has both joy and a bittersweet tone. I love the first image as well, it speaks to everything. Glad you enjoyed.
      Love, Tom B.


  • LaMerci
    January 15

    Edit | Reply

    I...

    needed to hear/read me a beach story (so cold) and you made me feel warm and radiating again...you jump started my noon day. Your authors notes are bittersweet, the poem is just very sweet *HUGS*


    • tomisb
      January 15
      Edit | Reply
      This is a story, that's why I choose the form I have. Glad you enjoyed the memory.
      Love, Tom B.

  • imahealer
    January 15

    Edit | Reply
    oh, again you tore at my heart. I can't still go back to the days when we lived at the shore, as a teen, and had m,y first love. That has been my downfall ( living in the past, and not clinging to the present and my own bad choices.(
    Better now, then later!) ooooooooo this just inspired an verse! Thank you for being my muse. All that is left is the echo of the terns above the breakers. Great job!
    \love,.
    Linda


    • tomisb
      January 15
      Edit | Reply
      Thinking of my first marriage. But, it all ties together
      Love, Tom B.

1 - 30 of 30