Snow is falling,
one flake after another,
pilling and building,
limiting space.
Where shall the next flurry go?
On top,
beside,
or pushed below?
Will they stay their beautiful white?
Or will they darken with the fight?
People are falling,
one person after another,
pilling and building,
limiting space.
Where shall the next dead go?
On top,
beside,
or pushed below?
Will they stay their beautiful white?
Or will they darken with the fight?
Author notes
resemblance of snowflakes to humans...let me know if you get it...
A contest entry
- For my Teen Friends who really care about Poetry! by islekine.
730 points, ended January 24, 13 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Guaranteed Comments! III by Nam.
1750 points, ended April 14, 159 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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A nice poem that you have written here.
-Nam
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Yeah, I get it...
Love where you went with it...
Compelling narrative & great use of metaphor & imagery...
Keep up the good work...
Well done!!!
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This is one of the best entries
if you take out a few "filler" words...and, the...
and find another word for "flake" as you did people
and person...lovely use of repetition...
Best wishes in the contest and always! Write on!
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i think i got everything changed except for the filler words part, im not sure what you meant by that, sorry lol
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Thanks for editing!
I love flurry! great choice...and as far as "filler" words....I thought it would sound better just saying Snow is falling....People are falling....don't need "the"
BUT still a wonderful entry! Best wishes in the contest and always! Write on! -
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got it, thanks for letting me know = )
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