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you didn't listen [incomplete]

With walls of paper; painfully thin,
Shuttered windows;

And remember this,
You didn't listen
You didn't hear

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments

1 - 5 of 5

  • liltulip gold member
    February 21
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    so sad

    but i did like reading this....as if the child is heard...


  • new light
    February 19
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    in such simple words has such strong meaning, the ending made me stop still ... beautiful


  • Beautiful-N-Broken silver member
    February 10

    Edit | Reply

    Perfect so far

    Please let me know if you do add more to this. It is terrific thus far and I think it can only get better! Major kudos!


  • RareFlower
    January 15

    Edit | Reply

    perfect up to now

    I will look out for the rest.. Thankyou for sharing this with me now.. Such despair I hear in your words....
    RareFlower


  • princessleejwctlvr2
    January 15
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    Wow you have an excellent and deep start!!! Sis you are a truly incredible writer!! You have such a marvelous talent!!! You write some of the most remarkable pieces I have ever seen!!! This might be incomplete but you have a wonderful start!!! This is beautifully written!!! I love it!!!!

1 - 5 of 5