Thank You

They don't see what i do to myself.
Too consumed by themselves and everyone else.
Eyes to wide shut to take a look.
Too caught in the days when they could read me like a book.
But now my lies are too far over their heads.
And they're left reliving the things i've said.
Trying to construct a truth,
Which is damn near impossible under this roof.
All the things that used to matter.
It's too bad they've all begun to tatter.
A child that's too broken, but knows right from wrong.
Can't turn bad, where do they belong?
Where do they turn when they've nothing left?
When everything has been torn away like theft.
I'm doing myself harm but it doesn't hurt.
I've felt more pain than most people are worth.
For once in my life, i want to feel WANTED.
To feel loved and needed, not just rejected.
How is my life supposed to be worthwhile,
When everyday it's an effort just to force a smile?
Days just don't feel like they're worth living.
You're just so into taking whatever i'm giving.
Eyes too wide shut to take a look.
Caught in the days when you could read me like a book.
Remembering when everything was simple and easy.
Not noticing that the sight of food makes me queasy.
Not hearing the purging in the bathroom at night.
Not noticing my tears during another fight.
All these years i've lived in the shadows trying to feel whole.
Well thank you so much, i finally have control.