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this dark house

 

Antique scars lay dormant in picture books

from slabs of abused concrete and torn curtains.

[and I'm not talking about the house]

 

Put a roof over our head and you think we're family,

like ignoring the discolored skin and missing teeth is okay.

This isn't home, but a prison.

Daddy's not a parent, but a guard,

making sure she doesn't escape.

 

If a picture is a thousand words,

then they're screaming all of theirs.

It's not a hug in the morning and an "I love you"

before they head off to school and Daddy goes to work.

But it's more like a "Daddy get off me" and "Stop hitting Mommy",

wishing he didn't eye their bodies like candy when they woke up

in the morning, still in their pajamas.

 

This house is where fire falls and souls hang on for dear life.

When children cry, we know they aren't alright.

It's not a nightmare that they've seen when they sleep,

but it's what they're living in real life.

 

Don't question the scars and rainbows.

Love isn't expressed up against walls and with torn clothes.

 

 

Author notes

Pic Credit: http://twelvern.deviantart.com/art/my-HOusE-69247922

"a rose of any color and bright blue daisies"

AP Name: Lowercase Prelude

A contest entry

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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 28 of 28

  • Forgotten Anomaly
    March 10

    Edit | Reply
    Your words do more then justice for the picture, this is fanominal. A few parts were a little rough but overall it was wonderful. I do hope this isn't based off real events for you although I'm well aware that it probably is for more then a few people. I love these lines:

    If a picture is a thousand words,
    then they're screaming all of theirs.

    Somehow it reminded me of my own family with the screaming, yelling, threatening, and verbal abuse. I love this and will be adding it to the finalists list for sure. Thank you for entering my contest and good luck.


    • lowercase prelude gold member
      March 10
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you for your comments. And I am blessed that this is not based off of real life events. But one of the qualities of my writings is that I want to give a voice to those that don't have one.


  • movedon
    February 22
    Edit | Reply
    the picture doesnt even do the words you've penned justice.


  • psychomonkey
    February 20

    Edit | Reply
    great write i felt myself wishing there was a little more to read, maybe you could have made it a bit longer. thank you for entering


  • Violent Glass
    February 1
    Edit | Reply
    wow
    i thought this was awesome
    i really liked it
    the imagery you used was awesome


  • aanika
    January 31

    Edit | Reply
    yes.

    I agree with my co-judge, in that the third stanza was a bit iffy.

    If a picture is a thousand words,
    then they're screaming all of their's.

    there's something grammatically wrong there.
    also, it felt awkward and hard to understand in places.
    aside from that, I loved the topic and I loved the ideas.
    thanks for entering


  • Luciferschild
    January 26

    Edit | Reply
    good poem i would have personally written it a bit longer but thats me, thank you for entering and good luck


  • stasis
    January 25

    Edit | Reply

    yes.

    I really liked this, I thought the idea was very thick and hard-hitting. However, I think the third stanza:

    "If a picture is a thousand words,
    then they're screaming all of their's.
    It's not a hug in the morning and an "I love you"
    before they head off to school and Daddy goes to work.
    But it's more like a "Daddy get off me" and "Stop hitting Mommy",
    wishing he didn't eye their bodies like candy when they woke up
    in the morning, still in their pajamas."

    needs a little patching up. Parts of it seemed a little awkward to me. Aside from that, this was fantastic.

    Please wait for the other judge to give their input.

    ♣ Tegan


  • reckless abandon
    January 21

    Edit | Reply
    wow, just, wow. I don't even know what to say to this. your words are powerful and you bring the emotions perfectly into the readers mind. thanks for sharing.


    • reckless abandon
      January 21
      Edit | Reply
      ah, sorry... it says your still in the contest but I still think I might have accidently removed this poem.


  • JustFallingApart
    January 20

    Edit | Reply
    ......words can't even begin to express how much that poem....spoke to me. There was such unbearable pain and emotion in this. It's so horrible that things like that actualy happen....it's not right.....you have a gift......best of luck in my contest, hope all is well


  • Mistress Masquerade
    January 16

    Edit | Reply
    This brought tears to my eyes.. Parts of it really hit home to me. Good luck in all the contests. You did an amazing job with this one.


  • penman gold member
    January 16
    Edit | Reply

    Wonderful

    Such an incredible write you have done. This is amazing. Best of luck in the contests.


  • Sweet Impatience gold member
    January 16

    Edit | Reply
    you did a fantastic job with this touchy subject. I don't know where to begin with this. this isn't a home, its more like a living hell. abuse is wrong no matter what, and what gets me really pissed is when people in certain types of jobs are supposed to help our children and remove them from such horrible places. protect them not make it worse. I had a friend in high school who's step father sexual abused her and physical abused her brothers. home is supposed to be a "safe" place not a place we don't want to be. I know for me.. my safe place was my room, and if not there far away from my so called home. the emotions that I felt while reading this powerful & incredible poem were quite intense.

    Excellent doesn't even begin to touch this poem. there are no right words that I can find.

    good luck
    kat


  • JadedSparrow
    January 16

    Edit | Reply

    Fantastic!!!

    I began to shudder and weep as I read this beautiful piece. Its amazing how powerful words can be. the memories they conjured were very painful. I still cant look him in the eye...

    JS

  • evelynxxoo
    January 15
    Edit | Reply

    so brave to write on such a subject that would bring back so much pain and nightmares i take my hat off to you you are a very strong person and very much a surviver keep up your writing you are brillance in the eyes of the reader


  • Serah
    January 15

    Edit | Reply

    Emotionally brilliant

    A first glance, the title sounds like this could be a poem of horror....like a Halloween horror story. But after reading, this hits home hard, real hard! Not me personally, but this is all too real and my heart goes out to all women and children who are afflicted buy such a horror as living with a monster like this! The saying, "Do unto others as you would have done onto you" comes to mind and the emotions that this stirs in me, have me thinking that this monster needs to be hung up by his balls! But of cos, it is not me nor you, who will judge this man, he will meet his judge and jury at the end of his days here on earth and burn for all eternity! Or sooner..... Women who are in this situation need to be educated and know that there is help out there for them and their child.

    L5 in S3 is very powerful, one that boils the blood and craves revenge! As is the last line! Least for me. I have no suggestions for improvement on this poem....it is powerful just as it is!

    ok, nuff said, cos I could go on and on about such a criminal as this monster.

    Well done....extremely well!

    Serah


  • Samm.
    January 15
    Edit | Reply
    i love this poem because it satisfies my thirst for this kind of poetry.
    keep up the great job.

  • Eusebius
    January 15

    Edit | Reply
    Ah, the most dreaded dark house, but now we have learned many of its dire and untoward secrets here! bravo!


  • SpiceRack
    January 15

    Edit | Reply
    Wow. I really think this is one of the best poems I've ever read. It's so real and so touching. It was so easy to relate to, and I love the style in which it was written. This is fantastic, simply fantastic, though such a horrible topic of choice... not in your choosing it, but the topic itself.


  • BloodWhiteOleander
    January 15
    Edit | Reply
    this is good. nice write.


  • SpydurPoet gold member
    January 15

    Edit | Reply
    Oh....I can think of a thousand expletives to describe how this makes me feel. Such an intense and real write. I loved this because of the brutal emotion. But it's wretched because of the reality that this reveals in the lives of too many.
    :: hugs ::
    Write on.
    ~*~SP~*~


  • fairytalelovestory
    January 14
    Edit | Reply
    wow.

1 - 28 of 28