It lies still-perfection
above the rafters
folding arms, and
in a beatless breath
chokes out
all the words paved
in smoke.
It lies still-lifeless
above the feathery
rising and falling sweat, and
in the silent breeze
drips down
into screaming pools
of dew.
Now it's only
cracked perfection.
And I thought I
could keep you from
breaking me again.
Author notes
Shatter My Soul, Let My Heart Ache
A contest entry
- Shatter My Soul, Let My Heart Ache by Reaper-117.
1500 points, ended May 27, 106 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
-
The metaphorical aspects are strong and the theme is spot on. A little more imagery or perhaps a few more stanzas of metaphor might have made this more impressive, if only because it leaves a few too many unanswered thoughts as it is.
However I did enjoy reading it.
Thanks for entering. -
Well, you blindsided me with the ending. Nicely done.
-
Nice Job!
This was a powerfully penned piece sister friend!
You sure can write some awesome poetry!
I love the metaphors, and the vivid imagery here.
Thanks for sharing, and all the best in the contest!
Love bro Timothy





