Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

I feel pink today

 

You won稚 notice me, unless my laughter

kicks the back of your seat in a movie theater, or


I知 holding up the checkout line while I dig

for my bankcard in a pack rat purse.

You won稚 see me, I'm delayed inside my footprints;

I知 living an alternate ending to my life.

I知 the color red.     No, blue.   Maybe green or

yellow.        I can稚 ever decide.

But I知 a gentle touch and a calming voice,
I知 moonlight dancing on water,

 

and I値l warn you now, I'm the steak

that comes rare when you order medium-well.







Author notes

a slush exercise.

In a list

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 88 of 88
  • Zacharias
    November 29
    ?
    Edit | Reply
    Great poem.
    This is incredible writing.
    The first two lines are a great hook. You captured my atention and walked me through the rest.
    One of my favorite poems.

    BRAVO!


  • Thomas Scott gold member
    October 23
    Edit | Reply

    LONG LIST


  • charcoal
    July 29

    Edit | Reply
    tara those first two lines... so playful

    set the mood perfectly and then of course, brilliant follow through


  • ten thousand cicadas gold member
    July 28

    Edit | Reply
    Just reading back through a couple of your poem. I'm pretty sure I have a comment way down there somewhere, but just wanted to reiterate how great this is


  • voices
    July 26

    Edit | Reply
    you are, yes you are the calming voice of monlit water. and i think i have seen you rare when i was overdone. either blue, green, yellow, doesnt matter because changing colors makes this world, and people so real.


  • Daizee silver member
    April 19

    Edit | Reply
    This is so original...just what I was looking for today....

    Stacy


  • vaseline
    April 15

    Edit | Reply

    mmm

    But I’m a gentle touch and a calming voice,
    I’m moonlight dancing on water,

    this is just beautiful. c'est tout. everything that needs be said has been said.


  • Oisin silver member
    April 9

    Edit | Reply
    I like the colors and taste intermingled together, and then trowing in what seems to be the surprise that is you.

    I think it must be a self portrait. :-)


  • Terry Collett
    March 23

    Edit | Reply
    Splendid poem. Love this:

    You won’t see me, I'm delayed inside my footprints;

    I’m living an alternate ending to my life.

  • SadmanJim
    March 18

    Edit | Reply

    That's It!

    I obviously am not going to write anything to compare to this, so I'd better just give up now and remove all my stuff from AP. [and I'm half serious here]
    I am enraptured by and enamored of your work, and yet depressed slightly as it were, since I feel so little of what I write can stand next to this.
    {sigh}

    Write On!
    jIM


  • Cannonsfire
    February 23

    Edit | Reply
    lol I'd say you are well-rounded with this...the scent of a woman who can always be what she wants when she wants and if she can't decide then it's ok too C


  • afroqban
    February 9

    Edit | Reply
    "and I’ll warn you now, I'm the steak

    that comes rare when you order medium-well."

    you captured my attention no doubt! I find myself excited to click the next by link and read what you thought of next lol. well done


  • Cerulean Sunrise gold member
    February 8
    Edit | Reply
    Just a bit underdone, eh?



    Nice.


  • Jaden silver member
    February 6

    Edit | Reply
    This one shows an evolution of your style (which is why I always begin at the beginning of someone's writing history . . . to get a better picture, as it were).

    The third stanza truly stands out and makes the poem really good 'delayed inside my footprints' denotes a keen imagination and the right kind of verbiage to 'kick the back' of the reader.

    Verbs are good. This poem is good.


  • Jettison
    February 1

    Edit | Reply
    so, i think i'm falling in love with you.

    let me read a few more and then i'll decide for sure.

    (I've always fallen fast and hard!)

    rare? you definitely are!


  • michael thomas gold member
    January 30

    Edit | Reply
    poetry is nice when it steps over the lines of realities. yours draws images across/down/around and you end up with a canvas of delight that takes the reader out of themselves and makes the reader say: "yea, damn, I know just what this poetess is saying. I can relate to it. It fits something in my reality." And you make it so real with your confessional style that is a mask for experience that is more than "self". I am impressed. This is the first of your poems that I read lately and I am envious of all the comments so well deserved.

    michael


  • Namita
    January 29
    Edit | Reply


  • poeticweaver gold member
    January 29

    Edit | Reply

    A Mint Poem!

    For being pink, you the hell outta this poem girl, way to go, and thanks for sharing.. Brilliant! Yes, I'm not worthy!


  • penman gold member
    January 27
    Edit | Reply

    Wow!

    Love the descriptions. Such a great feast of verse and colors. Thank you for sharing.


  • Age of Rain
    January 27

    Edit | Reply
    Your first stanza is stunning, and your final one thought provoking. And after reading the title (and poem) again, I can only gather hints of its true meaning. A winner for sure


  • Thomas Scott gold member
    January 27
    Edit | Reply

    Keep thinking about this one.

    One of the best pieces I've read hereabouts lately.
    This is a poem I'd date.

    Tom


  • Swangrnv gold member
    January 25

    Edit | Reply

    GOSH..

    I'm feeling like the cat that ate the canary.. wow this is another outstanding my friend! I truly love the whole piece but the lines that really nailed it for me was:

    You won’t see me, I'm delayed inside my footprints;

    I’m living an alternate ending to my life.


  • thepoetssoul
    January 24

    Edit | Reply
    This is a wonderfully creative poem.
    Love the visuals you craft within.
    Lamplight on water is genius, it's beautiful.
    Thanks for sharing your poetic talent.

    Tony

  • Virgoan
    January 22

    Edit | Reply
    Lol...how are you doing?

    The piece gives that kick - that effect. The state of your mind here seems different. Lighter than usual, like casual conversations.

    This line gives that punch to me:

    'I’m living an alternate ending to my life'.

    simply wonderful Tara.



  • just mercedes gold member
    January 21

    Edit | Reply
    I love the layering of different images that builds to a composite picture. Neither this nor that, but pieces of all, perhaps...really well executed, a good poem.


  • Harrisham Minhas
    January 21

    Edit | Reply
    Well-crafted with vivid details.
    The first four stanzas depict your confused or introvert state of mind and last two depict your surety.

  • loafy
    January 20

    Edit | Reply
    hmm, I feel kind of pink too. I'm a guy and I can't seem to get my eyes off the color. I've tried yellow green, couple hues of blue but no! nothing.


  • StickyNote5
    January 19
    Edit | Reply
    didn't get it

    • tara wilson gold member
      January 19
      Edit | Reply
      lmao -- sometimes, i don't really get poems either. thanks for admitting it.


  • cynthiaalise
    January 19

    Edit | Reply
    awesome poem. I love the beginning a lot. The details are really nice.

    "You won’t notice me, unless my laughter
    kicks the back of your seat in a movie theater, or"

    I can feel the strength and spiciness of the heroin of the poem, strong and vibrant. Are you really rare meat? If so I applaud your ability to stand up and be different. :-)

    I liked it very much...


  • Echos in Silence
    January 18

    Edit | Reply
    and I’ll warn you now, I'm the steak
    that comes rare when you order medium-well.

    dang. this is an awesome poem and a great way to end it, double thumbs up!


  • tomisb
    January 18

    Edit | Reply
    This poem is full of maybes, potentials waiting to be ignited, like the steak.

    The line, "you won't notice me..." Then the "until" and you are movement, quick lights glancing off of objects and never quite defining what it is the illuminate or too quick for the reader to focus upon form an opinion.

    Then the last first where you describe yourself in terms of how you present yourself for consumption: unready but willing. Delectable but powerless to be perfect and waiting for judgement.

    I will stop my analysis, it is prone to be personal and I may be reaching into places where I was not invited. You accomplish much with this quick, provocative, stabs of images. Scattered but contain, like the purse, you tease the reader with glances behind a veil of shyness. Oh, I am doing it again. I can't help myself so I shall stop.

    Love, Tom B.


  • notorious gold member
    January 18

    Edit | Reply
    I...didn't read/comment this yet?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Bitch-slap me now, French Toast with Icing Sugar Aura Woman.

    "You won’t notice me, unless my laughter
    kicks the back of your seat in a movie theater,"
    Damn. These opening lines just YELLED, 'Pay attention, motherfucker!' They're so well-written. I could see and hear and FEEL the kicking of my seat in a movie theater (which is something I'm guilty of doing to other people).

    "I'm delayed inside my footprints;
    I’m living an alternate ending to my life."
    Hot damn.
    Great use of 'delayed'...it felt like suppression of the self the way you used it. And "alternate" ending was bloody genius. Alternate endings on movies usually suck, on a slightly less related note.

    You know I think you taste good.
    Like French toast.
    Precisely like that.

    Don't forget the sugar.

    ;
    Jessica


  • delightfulmess silver member
    January 18

    Edit | Reply
    You are amazing!!!
    You are one of the people I have missed most in my absence

    I relate so much to this piece...!
    sigh... love the chuckle at the end as well.

    You are suppurb


    Delila


  • Nangaleema
    January 17
    Edit | Reply
    lamplight dancing on water - yes you are. i enjoyed this. - Mary Jo


  • Loveandblessings2u gold member
    January 17

    Edit | Reply
    Ok, this is the reason, why I love everything
    you write. This piece turned out perfectly.
    You truly are the best.

    joyce


  • sunflowerchic91
    January 17
    Edit | Reply
    This is so simple and sweet. I love your work!


  • katelynmcdougall
    January 17
    Edit | Reply

    great!

    AWESOME!

  • Thomas Scott gold member
    January 16
    Edit | Reply

    Wonderful!

    " ... delayed inside my footprints ... "
    Genius.


  • misselaineous
    January 16
    Edit | Reply


  • dewfall
    January 16
    Edit | Reply

    oh gorgeous

    just lovely, i relate only too too well!!


  • Kiran silver member
    January 16
    Edit | Reply
    Loved the way you developed this. Just brilliant.


  • Luna Tique Fringe
    January 16

    Edit | Reply
    very nice, love the way this evolved


  • Nicolette gold member
    January 16

    Edit | Reply
    love this!



    ~ Nicolette


  • philosphyofkate
    January 15

    Edit | Reply
    this reminds me of wearing a perfectly respectable outfit with red shoes. all things are possible.


  • ten thousand cicadas gold member
    January 15
    Edit | Reply
    Full of surprises, and living her own life... isn't that how all us gals should be? Really enjoyed this. A totally new take on pink--ironic really. I was expecting something soft and pillowy, and I got rare meat. Perfect!


  • Polaja Greeters member
    January 15

    Edit | Reply
    I love the unabashed bluntness of this poem the ending was my favourite part - it definitely left a smile on my face! The couplet about being delayed in your footprints was stunningly original and very powerfully stated I love this whole poem!



    Polly


  • Ryno
    January 15

    Edit | Reply
    I loved this. You put so much personality and so much of yourself into the write that it just shined through your words.

    Your starting, middle, and ending were all brilliant - with great concepts. The idea in the first made me feel sad, in the middle I was curious, and in the end, there was some happiness with a touch of sorrow...

    "I’m lamplight dancing on water"

    ...especially enjoyed that phrase & the imagery to it. Well penned!


  • checkmate
    January 15

    Edit | Reply
    this should be published. it's amazing, i love this. there is so much in this that is just awesome. it was great reading your work. love the beginning- it's powerful, and full of imagery. just woah. love this.

  • silverfish
    January 15

    Edit | Reply

    surf on turf

    you are a latent vixen for sure. your poems are passion fed winds blowing over the calm, deep waters of appearances. i imagine you writing at your desk, the tap-tap-tap six inch heel keeping time to the vibrato string section of your heart. -magentafish


  • Mari Goes gold member
    January 15
    Edit | Reply
    I simply loved it!
    You are soooooooooooo good!


  • motel silver member
    January 15

    Edit | Reply

    the line about living an alternate ending really struck me.
    also, the stanza concerning colors.
    thanks.


  • Catie Sheeran gold member
    January 15

    Edit | Reply
    Hi Tara.

    I really do love this piece ...as always I especially like the first and last stanzas and the flow of the read in the entire poem.

    beautifully done


  • Sonja
    January 15

    Edit | Reply
    Beautiful poetry. I know this feeling when you say that is much more inside of you to find... Beautiful poetry, my dear friend. Beautiful.
    ~Sonja~


  • Jersene gold member
    January 15

    Edit | Reply
    oh, wow...you were quick completing the exercise. lol. I was heading there after I caught up on all my fav's.

    this is beautiful. you're beautiful...those last two lines are brilliant


  • monstruo
    January 15

    Edit | Reply
    Your voice seems to jump sharply from one thing to the next and that works so well with this piece. It has that slightly unorganized feel to match the author's. I think the last couplet was perfect by the way. The "and I'll warn you now" made my eyes slow down for that great analogy.

    I always order my steak rare though, tara.


  • maggiejamespoet silver member
    January 15
    Edit | Reply
    Great lines--my favorite "I'm stuck inside my footprints"!


  • chloris
    January 15

    Edit | Reply
    the first four lines made me sad... how you compared yourself or how you are made to feel like that.
    you're wonderful... like the raw colour of a flower not meat. you justified your qualities after those lines... lol you're hot!
    i also liked how you maintained the list like format and managed to keep the poetic balance throughout the poem.


  • Heart Sutra
    January 14

    Edit | Reply
    This is a sharp little idea that unfolds nicely in the poem, unexpected.


  • Peteskid gold member
    January 14

    Edit | Reply
    rare...well, good words for this poem too; rare to see so much of a personality in a short poem, and it really is quite well done ... PK


  • AJ Morelli gold member
    January 14
    Edit | Reply
    this turned out wonderfully...


    al


  • MJ Donnelly gold member
    January 14
    Edit | Reply
    I like my steak rare, and this piece was equally juicy Tara.

    Love, Michael.

  • Suzanne Dia
    January 14

    Edit | Reply
    tara, you did a great job with this
    you are so many very cool things


  • Grunts Girl silver member
    January 14

    Edit | Reply
    the good thing about a rare steak is it can be heated up to perfection lol
    i had to

  • Melissa Gayle gold member
    January 14
    Edit | Reply
    Damn I love those slush exercises -

    incredible.


  • ariazephyrzoe gold member
    January 14

    Edit | Reply
    and I love to feel pink...always

    our color may variably change but we will always be pink underneath

    I’m a gentle touch and a calm voice,
    I’m light dancing on water,

    I love those line, this is so beautiful with such gentleness


    Anna Lee

  • Rowan gold member
    January 14

    Edit | Reply

    exercise away... lol. Loved that end. Packed a very nice punch. lol.


  • Pure Thought silver member
    January 14

    Edit | Reply
    You are the woman I walk by
    who never hears me sniff
    never sees me turn to admire
    never knows I love rare

  • dx d by me
    January 14

    Edit | Reply
    Ha!, what a delight to read. I think I've met you...this is rich and fine poetic fabric! And I love your close. I have a rule though, at a fine steak place, no send backs, lol, its always worth the experience! Loved it!


  • zochit2me gold member
    January 14
    Edit | Reply
    Oh and ....and....and....
    slush rules!...


  • charcoal
    January 14
    Edit | Reply
    how did you take it from so light and playful to so... deep and philosophical? i love the way you write and sorry for saying that every time but it's true.


  • zochit2me gold member
    January 14

    Edit | Reply
    Hell yeah!

    But,
    I’m a gentle touch and a calm voice,
    I’m light dancing on water,




    ♥Becky♥
    xoxo


  • arafura gold member
    January 14
    Edit | Reply
    Ah yes... but I like my steak medium-well. Lovely work Tara. Excellent!


  • gypsy camp
    January 14
    Edit | Reply
    tara, youre just too amazing.


  • Cup-a-Joe
    January 14

    Edit | Reply
    ~But,
    I’m a gentle touch and a calm voice,
    I’m light dancing on water~
    You are a light in the night shining bright.
    Joe


  • And Hyetal
    January 14

    Edit | Reply
    oh wow! I really do like the title, but I'm not sure how it goes with the poem. Maybe it would be better if it had 'tyedye' in it?

    The whole theme was fantastic!

    ~Cassie

1 - 88 of 88