All the pressure bottled up
So that everything is perfection
It's all about to burst right through
Destruction so close
The depression won't lift, won't let me go
You stare in wonder
At my body lined with scars
Though to you, I'll never matter
I suffocate
Under oxygen's heavy suffering
Through all this nothing
I am not me
These lungs will give out
As I no longer cease to breathe
A contest entry
- Picture prompt. by morgana raven.
400 points, ended January 16, 2009, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
'esc' http://www.flickr.com/photos/rosie_hardy/2671055163
Comments
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So that everything is perfection
Is about to burst right through
This bit doesnt really make a lot of sense..
I thought the last two lines were fantastic. Great write thanks for entering.
Laura -
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sorry its supposed to be the first two lines connect and then the third one after that
it is confusing im sorry
oh well i tried -
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The only bit i didnt understand was the is before the word perfection, if those two lines were togehter is perfection is about, doesnt make sense as a sentence. it was a good few lines i just think it needed a tad tweak on the way it was written. Its a great poem.
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