One fine evening,
about a year ago from today.
I had attempted to take my own life,
which ended up breaking and jumped a bout' -
- as if it wanted to play.
I took bottle after bottle,
A pill after pill.
My heart started racing,
And time seemed to be standing still.
I try to close my eyes tight,
but viciously woken up by the sound of gongs.
and to my surprise,
Two men, sitting across from each other with a chess table in front of them.
I figure that the two must be the ones,
I figured that my time had come.
And every so often they'd both look at me and speak in tongue,
The chess game went on, and the battle for my soul had begun.
It must of been hours,
but really only minutes.
The game was now getting real close to Its end.
The chess board was almost missing both player's pieces,
This game was to much for me, I couldn't bare to see who'd win.
So I ran out of the house, Down the street, and ever sense,
I've never seen those two, ever again.
Author notes
please note that in this poem, It was rushed so you're going to get an off balanced feeling from this one, I have edited it.
A contest entry
- You come across Satan and God having a conversation by trekkergirl.
400 points, ended January 20, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
So people, fans, friends, familily, and Allpoetry.com's Society and Users, What do ya think?
Comments
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I really think that the background is very interesting although it made the poem very hard to read. The poem itself wasn't too bad. Not really. I think it could have been tweeked a little more but you said it was hurried. And for that not badly done. Thanks for sharing this and thanks for entering it into this contest.
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a common theme
it's interesting however...
the rhyme is very mild and slanted at that, making the read simple... the theme is sort of redundant and overused, however it's easy to follow...
i would suggest some revision to the grammar and spelling... some words just seemed out of place...
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HAHA, I very much agree with you Theo, A very good example of some rushed work that I Entered into a contest...
The poem actually came from my old friends mother.... funny, I was actually more befriended with her mom that my friend herself.. LOL, She claims to be psychic, and she has proved several times to me that her "ability" is seemingly possible, but I still have my doubts about it. The poem was actually me trying to restate a story she once told me when she O.D.ed on pills, and hallucinated and saw something of this context... But yeah, this was a poem I wrote during school hours, and the time left for the bell to be rung was nearly there, So I rushed together as many thoughts of when she told me that story, and well, I guess its safe to say & assume that this poem pretty much failed in all areas as a poem.... LOL, It is a poem that needs revision, that I'll probably never look at again....
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