I had begun erasing you from my mind
I tried & tried
I was running out of time
The end was coming so strangely near
I faced you relentlessly
l had nothing to fear
I had figured you'd never understand in time
I knew I was going to loose you
no matter how hard I tried
Everyday I loved you more & more
but you never knew
my feelings faced the floor
An uncomfortable darkness did surround
I felt so alone
when you weren't around
You are encrypted in my heart
I tried to decode
but everything seemed to fall apart
I know you will never be able to love me
but it hurts ,that the fact I do
you're not able to see
I can only wish that someday
three awaited words
shall come my way
And when it does we shall be together
you'll be mine
and i'll be yours......forvever
Author notes
I know this kinda sounds like a cliche topic..but its what my heart says....that changes things doesn't it ..
It always that the on person's attention you want..you'll never get...its the truth of life...but I fear to face it .... I Love too much !.....i keep hoping!!..although I know nothing will happen......I guess that's why they say :
" hope leads to expectations..who's failure leads to sorrow "
But I don't know what to do..except love with all my heart...expect..and then face the consequences...I'm prepared for it ...because I make the mistake of loving..expecting love back from that 'one' person...knowing I'm not going to get any .
A contest entry
- the biggest prewrite contest ever by serenity silvermoon.
900 points, ended January 18, 362 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Your Favorite Work? by RedAquarius.
550 points, ended January 27, 36 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - It's Finally Time by incondite.
1000 points, ended January 27, 38 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - A Year. by alexandra..
900 points, ended February 17, 42 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
*Sigh* *Sniff* ... any comments?
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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Your first verse, third verse, fourth verse, and sixth verse were the strongest.
I dislike how you used 'u' in your second verse, and also 'close' and 'loose' don't rhyme, not in the context you have them.
I can't see how it would.
And I love the word 'ignominious'.
but it doesn't fit at all in this piece, you use very simple, plain language, and then you stick this in.
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thank u !
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Thanks for your entry and good luck.
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"I faced u relentlessly" - I would correct "u" (not a word imo) to proper spelling for consistency, since you spell it correctly the rest of the write.
"Loose"= lose, both places.
A nice enough lovelorn piece. -
pishaw
if it speaks to the one for you want it too,
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thank u !!
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