Long Poem

You live and die by the pain that severs
And paint and cry when all the glass it shatters
I give it up
To holy waters
I make it up with a smile

Rainbows bring you back down again
Shadows open up the dawn to you
Heaven knows I’ll comfort all your friends
Misery won’t kill me in the end

But my love for you will bring me ‘round the bend
Like something I can hold but cannot mend
Fragile and unbroken but shapeless and unimportant
I’d like to cast it away for something that matters
But those things that matter are things I can’t see
And I feel them only when they’re taken away

I’d like to cast away the darkness, bring me flowers
There’d be phantoms I could battle with
And Jesus would make a buddha of me
I’d be crazy just to let it be
I’d be Mary’s only wannabe
And Joseph would never love me too
Because I am a godless sun
Never belonging to anyone
Burning in the shadows
Lonely cos I burn the ones I love

Express yourself in phrase of rage
Then open up your heart again
There’s no escape from happenstance
And no remorse when first you can’t
I let it go and let it shake itself free
The things I stood for, strangers to me
No betrayal where no promises made
No beds are broken when none are made
No lovely hand to lend a token
I’d love to tend a man who’s hoping
For nothing at all, who sees it all in me:
A casual heart, a pressing hand, an angry wit
And a world apart from love

What legacy does my father bring
What misshapen fool does my mother make
I am a huge mistake
Cold and uncaring of the rules I break
No lovers stay to take my hand
When I slay them with my humor and
Concern that’s overlaid with a disbelief in truth and save
There’s no concept that is free from hate
No love that’s untouched by a feeling too late
And I press apart the divine heart
I find something golden in the centre I can’t break
It persists in heaven still
Shining beacon, light my life
Pure and sweet and soaring truth
Covers all and envelopes you
I suffer when it’s presence fades
I shatter when its memory is made
Know I believed and made it real
A requiem of my own proportions