through the mist of deception
and the opaqueness of lies
the light of truth pierces
manifesting an epiphany
as clear and vibrant
as a sparkling crystal
in the noonday sun
once the eyes are opened
the darkness
is abhorred
A contest entry
- 5 senses by Melissa Gayle.
800 points, ended January 18, 9 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Can you relate to this?
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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Yes I can understand that, The whole world is falling into darkness right now, or we may feel it is
as we are often thrown into fearful situations.
Let that light of hope never fade, lovely sentiments spoken.
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Yes!
This is intense & so true! From beginning to end a marv content & flow & you tie this up so nicely with your ending:
once the eyes are opened
the darkness
is abhorred
Sometimes I just don't think I can take any more of the world's hypocrisy [mine included] & that's when my 
gets more focused! Bravo for this. 
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Wow~
You know when I read pieces- I read several times and when I was taking in Your words-
for some reason I felt the song: Eyes of a Sparrow
The line: opaqueness of lies-
tugged so hard along with 'light of truth pierces'
Grabbed~ Bravo my Friend!!
Energy evoked spoke volumes~
Powerful piece this is
Another Excellent verse...
Thank You for sharing Your Heart and Voice~
Many blessings to You in all You do Sweet Soul
Best wishes in the contest too
with much love & light~ Desire~*~
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That was great! I enjoyed the lines:
as clear and vibrant as a sparkling crystal in the noonday sun
the most. -
I love the word 'abhorred' - but better now!!
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I will be honest, the only thing I didn't care for in the piece is the ending, for me it seemed to just stop without the linger that would have worked better. (Hope that made sense)
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Melissa,
I understand your comment, and upon rereading I would have to agree with your assesment. It makes sense and I will have to edit this abrupt cliche sounding ending. Thanks for the constructive criticism, it is appreciated.
Dennis
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Thank you kindly for accepting critique.
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I really like the imagery in this piece I've had those sudden feelings of comprehension before and it is exactly as you describe it - a shining crystal in the sunlight or a lightbulb
... beautiful!
Polly
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lovely imagery.
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