I sing at the sink
and think of a baby that could fit
wiped grime from curve there
so oozes my little ear
adjusting voice
no rinsing daughter's first time in snuggly at washed dishes
or miscarriage like one set of broken ones
but with this squeak chuckle arises tickle
by all home towards health today wanting to be mother
enzymatically not somewhat SIDS' step about gout
shh soothe liver emphasis
ripe efficiency, God isn't toxic talk
Author notes
wordcalc 77
A contest entry
- Separation by Heart Sutra.
1300 points, ended February 1, 15 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
please leave off good luck, unnatural emoticons, applause symbols...hypes
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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What a unique style, I loved this. Congratulations!
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i found the ending incredibly impactful
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This reads like abstract prose, perhaps you are starting a new genre in the poetry world.
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grime gripper of deep descent. these are not shallow water to drown the baby in. these are deep waters with killer squid and ravenous grips around common throats.
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There are some graphic intensities inside this poem. In fact each line is fraught with a certain human tension that is born from complicated familiar and intimate relationships. Your word choices and descriptions make the poem wholly and completely yours. It is so unique in some ways but completely human at the heart.
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I hate to see you suffer. I hope you can find new ways to measure yourself...
You have so much to give -
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deercatcher beyond cervidae certainty
that was rough reading those first few words, but I made it to your context. thanks for setting it for my tracking...
I have a motif that isn't monotonic, but as monarch butterflies from Washington instead of Kansas... can attune to real next. when the radio went off and nature for child on winter day got closed for easy other kicks, it felt like a letter crumpled I can't migrate in air. If I offer, it's awareness (now) and smile my empathy of a creature brings mine out yet at attrition to transfer tranferase to a story that can't be branching celebration --
though some pruning can move a comfort zone, my pen is between nope and person,
called Carolyn
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There is here a stony sadness, an immobilization of loss. Very well done.
Garrison -
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Garrison, thanks for getting the bulwark bulk of this
I'm trying to keep an angle of not just turning back but that's built unless rebuilding can be believed...
I'll need to remember username too ~
called Carolyn
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Very cool poem, I must say.
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Jaden, there are parameters for a little fire to come in
thanks for making me think how I recently heard that phrase with a semblance to being able to be proud as interexpressed, which is ironed out for me proverbially if I added insight then shame isn't the entire match but even refreshing...
I appreciate the gestured words, though applause symbols are hard to take at face value lol -- so I ask for basics before breezing through haha,
called Carolyn -
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This poem makes use of enjambment, yes? In other words, it tugs you along at certain places, as it should in free verse. Has the element of surprise with the phrasing, which it appeals to me alot.
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Jaden, you brightened me with your take
I'd agree, though I only came upon the term through this site but have turned to essence of it naturally on my own. since, I don't think a reaction can be shockingly short; as "Has the element of surprise with the phrasing" that becomes wrappable and then remarkable... well, for me at least, and now plus in presenting.
actively thinking thanks so much,
called Carolyn
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