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Signed and Sealed

At times she's often wandered there
ambient draped quieting glow-
white musk scented in full moon's stare.
Light fold of skirt, silk shawl discreet
thrum of heart somehow not in sync.
Treading slowly watching her feet
childish fancies, gone in a blink.

Proposal met with fingered pleat
quiet tirade, tears lost in mink.
To sand and sea she steers her mind,
whirling away with shuddered breath.
Last chance to leave it all behind
sinking her freedom's quiet death.


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Author notes

I wrote this using my newly created form. I call it 'Freyjan Form'.
Please see my posted column for more details. I will gladly link anyone who tries this new form to the column as an example for others:


http://allpoetry.com/column/2348897

In a list

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

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Comments

1 - 15 of 15

  • sideways hourglass
    January 30

    Edit | Reply
    I absolutely suck at form, honestly, so kudos to you for being a form-buff.

    "Light fold of skirt, silk shawl discreet
    thrum of heart somehow not in sync.
    Treading slowly watching her feet
    childish fancies, gone in a blink."

    I love the rhyme of "sync" and "blink" -- I'm not much of a rhyme-poem kind of guy, but when I like a rhyme, I sure do like it.

    Besides the word choice, I liked the imagery too.

    A simple poem, a bit simpler than my usual metaphorical-craziness-extravaganza kind of read, but I still enjoyed this --- I can still appreciate a calmer, more blunt side of poetry.

  • piccola silver member
    January 18

    Edit | Reply
    I've already commented on this so you know what I think. LOL. I'm so happy that you're a fighter ... so wonderfully brave and so inventive. Thanks for entering my contest.


  • Blue Rew silver member
    January 14

    Edit | Reply
    Signals of body language fill this piece and the
    lilt of rhyme carry it beyond the words to a
    sort of hushed space where twinge of emotion
    is easily conveyed. This is simply a form I must try.
    Lovely name too. Blessings, Blue


    • Hetha gold member
      January 15
      Edit | Reply
      I would love to see the results if you do attempt this form dear sister, and thank you so much for your kind words.


  • PoetessA.L.OPrunty
    January 14

    Edit | Reply

    Simply Amazing!

    I feel as if I am in a dream state reading this, as if I have somehow become entwined through the words and thoughts of another. BRAVO!

  • piccola silver member
    January 14
    Edit | Reply
    you are so brave in everything you do. Your poetry, and trying new forms which you always do wonderfully. Your health which I know must weaken you; but you continue without complaint. I love you my friend and if you ever need a vent I am here ...
    whaziz48@yahoo.com or teddy48bear@hotmail.com. I check them both daily

    • Hetha gold member
      January 14
      Edit | Reply
      OMG, where ya been? I've missed you!
      Thank you for checking out my new form. I'm glad you like it!
      I've got your email saved to desktop, so it doesn't get lost.
      I'm slowly getting myself back, but I'll be okay. I'm glad to know you are here for me, that means the world to me!


  • HpWICKEDangel
    January 14

    Edit | Reply
    this is so sad. i feel the hurt and the life draining from this poor thing. it like how it flows off the tongue.


  • maralisa silver member
    January 14
    Edit | Reply
    aw wow this so beautiful thank you for sharing maralisa


    • Hetha gold member
      January 14
      Edit | Reply

      Thank you

      Feel free to click on the link to the column. Feel free also to try the new form. Glad you like it.


  • hawkeslake gold member
    January 14

    Edit | Reply
    Beautifully penned, and I think I like this form quite a lot. I will have to come back to look at your column, since it is WAY past my bedtime! A great read!


  • Clovis...Curious silver member
    January 13

    Edit | Reply

    Excellent

    A very good write, indeed. Imagery; rhythm and rhyme are just fine. Thanks for sharing this one with us.


  • amaranthine lover gold member
    January 13
    Edit | Reply
    my goodness, this is simply astounding. I love the way it floats across my mind, and it sounds damn good out loud, too. Beautiful work my dear poet friend! I will definitely have to give myself a try as long as you do the same using my Meditative Ballad!

1 - 15 of 15