Will the wind always whisper your name?
Plaguing this brittle heart with its game?
Past dances have taken an incredible toll
Against that from which kind gestures roll.
Patchwork preservation is all I boast
A fractured vessel, my love to host.
Now here I lie, sad thoughts awoken
While upon the wind your name is spoken.
Author notes
A poem about lost love...unoriginal, I know.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 26 of 26
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I didn't find your words unoriginal, poets may write about the same experiences, but these are your words and your voice.
I like how you wrapped it with her name being whispered by the wind, it's beautiful
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I liked it. You may think it unoriginal but I loved the rytmn and rhyme in this piece. Thank you for sharing your petry with me.
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very nicely done,,, the rhymes and short line are very effective,,, thanks for sharing,,,
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Unoriginal is something I find often, and yet don't think exists.
It's hard to do something original but we all do it in our own unique way.
Your rhyme excellent, flow perfect and hearts broken achieved. Beautiful piece
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Simply Amazing!
This poem is so sad and yet amazing. I really admire your talent. You did an outstanding job. Great Write. Rtf please.
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Unoriginal this is not, love is a complex thing, at times we must use the only words we can find to rid ourselves of the pain. Beautifully written. Best to you fine poet
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No this definately is original. So powerful so beautiful. You are an amazing poet. Wow....
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That's beautiful. really very touching, and yeah, maybe the idea isn't too original, but that doesn't matter, the way it's written... is just breathtaking. well penned. Bravo
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Yeah... I know those feelings. Seem that I hear a name in the whispers of the wind all the time, but alas, shall never know what the meaning of that is for me... other than the broken heart that mingles with the feeling and the name...
Great job!
and love
Nyetta
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beautiful
beautiful i think that is one of the only words to describe this poem besides wonderful and emotional i love the emotion in it and i love the wording you used
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wonderfully written love the part....Will the wind always whisper your name?
Plaguing this brittle heart with its game?
Past dances have taken an incredible toll
Against that from which kind gestures roll.
looking forward to more writes from you..
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WOW
this is amazing! I love the way you worded it and how you used your feeling. The personification of the wind was very intriguing. I felt like this about someone once. I cannot really put one emotion with this poem. good work I look forward to reading more from you.
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This is really good keep it up
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Getting there, but not good enough, time to step it up a notch
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many people have written about lst love, yes, but your poem is origional. i really really really like this, you captured a bit of how i'm feeling as well. loved the personification of the wind. i can't really say exactly how this poem left me feeling- which is usually an indication that it was great. keep writing.
[Liz<3]
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wow, i love it!
it's okay to have an unoriginal idea,
it just depends on how u use it.
and, u used it VERY well.
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wooooooooooooah
This is fantastic mattttte... -
Okay, unoriginal theme, but the way you presented it was inspired. A short, sweet, poignant poem beautifully crafted with real sentiment.
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The last line really hit me hard. Great work!
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that is very beautiful I absolutely loved the finishing lines
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wow. this poem is beautiful as well as heartbreaking. so emotional. i love how it talks about the wind whispering the name. it always seems that way for me to
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I really love the wind in this poem; maybe because it resonates with me. The rhyme scheme is good, and I like the term "fractured vessel" very much. It fits well. The last two lines are very bittersweet and very quotable. Good job. ^_^ I enjoyed it.
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Wonderful.
it's a great piece.
Every line is very well balanced and adds just enough.
Great Write!
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You know, something drew me back here, it's time it drew others in too....
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Ah, so you are human?
And damn, your a poet too! A good one at that!?
One did all this happen?
Good work mate
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Ah! A comment, what do I do? WHAT DO I DO!
Cheers Phil. I was in a bit of a pensive mood last night that's all.
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