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little boy blue







when i die, i hope
it is the loudest and most
unnoticed passing in the world.
i hope there will still be birds
making love on the veranda
and things like tea and children
and francis poulenc.

most of all, i hope you will be
miles away by then, across the sea
in a little flanders field of your own.
i could hope for the whole event
to slip quietly by,
but you will know.
somehow you'll know exactly
when it happens, and if so

i hope you will help me
close the eyes of the poetry
still collecting there in my hands.
where the wild things grow,
wherever you are, remind me
with every last inch of voice
about how we were once
as brilliant and slender
as that one summer sky


and i will hear you,
i promise
i will hear you
















Author notes

little boy blue by eugene field
in flanders field by lieutenant colonel john mccrae

prompt: hear

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 24 of 24
  • Papagallo
    February 16

    Edit | Reply
    This was beautiful and put a lump in my throat. Easily seen why you won the gold. I tip my hat yo you. Your last three lines make the poem.


  • styrofoam
    February 2

    Edit | Reply
    but you will know.
    somehow you'll know exactly
    when it happens


    i wish i had the same faith.

    your poetry is so real. may i add you as a favorite?


  • Loveandblessings2u gold member
    January 30

    Edit | Reply
    Oh My, Oh My, this is beyond good, way,way better than the best. This really gave me the chills
    but that's not a bad thing, i think i even dropped a tear or two. you really earn that beautiful gold trophy.

    Loveandblessings2u & yours always
    Joyce


  • parachute fog
    January 24
    Edit | Reply
    you are my favourite poet, not just on this site, but in general.


  • Cassandra Gemini
    January 22
    Edit | Reply
    I cried.

    No, really, I did. That is the most amazing thing I've ever read. Also, I was thrown back against my pillow in stunned amazement when you mentioned Poulenc. How did you know I was planning a series of nine poems all titled with the names of movements from one of his operas?

  • Papagallo
    January 21
    Edit | Reply
    My god. You have such power. This is beautiful and brought tears to my eyes. You are most blessed with your use of words. Your last three lines are so strong. Revise this poem? Flog me if I dare.


  • Ryno
    January 20

    Edit | Reply
    Your poem was like a sigh, soft, yet heavier than a breath.

    I don't know if that makes sense. It does in my weird mind.

    This was amazing.


  • notorious
    January 20
    Edit | Reply
    If you died like that, it'd be like Mozart, wouldn't it?


  • chloris
    January 19

    Edit | Reply
    wow ... you earned the gold...really.. umm there's nothing to critique here, i like it the way it is really... i mean i love the voice... i love how you brilliantly created that voice... when i read this, i read it like something i would tell someone... beautiful, i could never write like this though. you're a star.

  • Melissa Gayle gold member
    January 18

    Edit | Reply
    I adore the opening stanza, it has a touchable quality to it. It's real and sure and stands proud.

    I almost would leave off those final three lines - but at the same time, its a toss up for me.

    This was truly wonderful writing


  • Puking Faerie Dust gold member
    January 18

    Edit | Reply
    This is so beautifully heart-breaking. The longing and overall peacefulness with yourself in this is very soothing. I loved it. Fantastic job
    Jeanette*~


  • sheltered
    January 18

    Edit | Reply
    Haunting and powerful

    "i hope you will help me
    close the eyes of the poetry
    still collecting there in my hands"

    "remind me
    with every last inch of voice"

    and that ending was
    perfectly fleeting


  • And Hyetal
    January 16

    Edit | Reply
    'it is the loudest and most
    unnoticed passing in the world.' I love contradictions.

    'close the eyes of the poetry' Made me wonder how it'd feel to stop writing. What a hell, everlasting writer's block.

    And your last stanza is an angel.

    I love the way you write.


  • notorious
    January 15

    Edit | Reply
    I can't decide whether your poetry is more inspiring or discouraging to me; it's bloodygoodfuckingwowage.

  • tara wilson gold member
    January 15

    Edit | Reply
    a very beautiful poem. i like poems that aren't too abstract, i think you give the reader just enough here without giving them too much, you know? ...you're talented.


  • heaven all alone
    January 15
    Edit | Reply
    This makes death sound beautiful. Incredible writing.

    I love this. Bookmarked!


  • redbird
    January 15

    Edit | Reply
    this is so sad.... and such finality. don't be so sad; it will make me cry. and i have a black heart; i gotta keep up appearances.

1 - 24 of 24