Already Broken

Tables turn,
glass is smashed,shattered
and dragged acrossed my heart.

I want to hold you,
and push you, at the same time.
I dont feel right when your away,
but I feel better knowing your not near me.

The worst is over now,
and I still cant breathe.
I want your attention,
I want your pain.
Stolen hearts, smashed them all.

I cringe when I catch a glimpse,
of myself in the mirror,
I cringe.
I dont feel me here, anymore.
I clutch at my wrist,
the fresh cuts tingle,
but thats all I cant feel.

I'm already broken..
There is no fixing this mistake,
I feel like Im strong enough,
to steal your pain.
Just lay it on me, baby.
At least pretend to love me..

You armor is back to its starting point,
defense ready, and missiles launched.
I wanted to you to know..
I keep your photograph,
I keep your memories with me.

I wouldnt let you close to my heart,
so scared of being hurt.
Well, I think I hurt more this way..
What would it take to get you back?
Tell me,
I will drop anything and everything.

I'm a walking drug.
Simple and easy to get addicted too,
overly glamorized.
Cocaine on a small glittery mirror.
Razor included.
A pretty girl, addiction.
Beautiful, inside and out...Maybe not.
Decayed, lost, and collapsed.

Your walls are up,
mine have been torn down..
I wear my heart on my sleeve for you baby.
I admire your strength, your simplicity and complications.
Your distant...Oh so distant.
Perhaps then, Im too close?

Looking back at things,
I never really got it right,
always wrapped up in things, dreaming, wanting, and pushing..
You trusted me, and I smashed it.
Shattered your hope of love.
Ripped apart your heart.

All I want to say, is I'm sorry for the way I am.
The way I never knew I had become.
Open my eyes for me, to see how truly ugly I am..
A deep fire filled red, and electric orange, the colors of rage, and hatred.
I will withdraw, become blank, so very white will I be.
Erase myself completely, and start over.
I could be.... someone you c.o.u.l.d. love.
Someone who could be....stable.
Someone to lean on, someone to trust.

I tried, I tried...
I still love you, more than anything.
Please...Dont hate me.
Give me another chance, for another time.