I can’t look at You straight in the eye.
Your beauty is far too great for me.
Resulting shame’s expressed with a sigh,
thus my feet desire to flee.
I find I’m up against a wall.
Is this where You want me?
Unable to silence Your loving call,
I’m up against my own plea.
So I’m cornered, so I’m shamed;
it’s His presence desiring me so.
Desiring the One who’s so named;
nameless Peace I yearn to know.
I am pressed within this corner,
I’m hard-pressed to complain.
Here’s the freedom. I’m on the border,
with a chance to know Your name.
Desire to flee seems to leave,
for I’ve found my place.
Let the world for me grieve,
my joy is found in Your face.
A contest entry
- CONTEST : PICTURE PROMPT # 1 by Jesaan by Jesann.
700 points, ended January 16, 9 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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what a joy to be found in the presence of God.
Its amazing what turmoil we undergo at first, we long to be anywhere, but near him... to look anywhere but into his eyes...to be touched by anyone and anything but him.
And yet when he touches us don't want to let go... when he looks at us, we don't want to look away.... we have found a home.
Thank you so much, and may the peace of Christ which surpasses all understanding, remain with you both now and forever.
A-M-E-N. -
Hmm... Like It...
There's something kind-of haunting about this piece. I like the dual emotions of fleeing and freeing- you can sense the struggle and yearning.
I also thought it flowed well, and the rhythm and rhyme were very nicely done.
Thanks for sharing.
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Enthralling
Very Artistic. Filled with emotion and good phrase. The title is apt for the picture and poem whilst the reader really draws you in to the frame of mind of the photograph. An interesting read.
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I'm confused. Not really sure whether this is a poem about God, or a person.
Maybe that was intent, but I've no idea. . .
Also, the word "at" in the first line threw me off the first time. After another read, I found myself stuck there again.
I am pressed within this corner,
I’m hard-pressed to complain.
Here’s the freedom. I’m on the border,
with a chance to know Your name.
This stanza would read better without the repeatung of the word pressed.perhaps the word trapped could be substituted for the first one.
Your flow is excellent, the ideas tumble forth wonderfully.
I like this poem, and think it could strengthened some.Sorry to be so critical, just telling the truth.
I wish you the best in this contest.
Love,
Jin
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Funny...
The parts you have a problem with are my favorite. But then it is a matter of perspective.
Appreciate the honest input.
God bless!
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Glad you didn't take my critique personally.
I know sometimes I'm harsh when I review.
I never mean to be offensive, just honest.
I don't have a problem with any particular part,
just the choice of words.
As I said in my review,
"I like this poem, but think it could be strengthened some."
Honesty isnt pretty sometimes, and it's those who've been honest about my work that've helped me to grow as an artist.
Take care.
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i like it alot...
it flows very nicely...
and really connects to me -
How sad to be on this place, being unable to make a move for that someone that moves you so much
the title is perfect for the photo
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a wonderful take on the prompt. the imagery is so emotionally great. well done and good luck in the contest. =)
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A wonderful write....
"Resulting shame's expressed with a sigh,
thus my feet desire to flee"
Beautifully expressed emotion, on our struggle of worthiness before God.
The last verse is an uplifting and inspiring end to this poem.
Well done.
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A Beautiful Psalm of praise. Such a great flow that makes the words sing to the heart.
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Absolutely amazing! I love it.
"Desire to flee seems to leave,
for I’ve found my place.
Let the world for me grieve,
my joy is found in Your face."
I'm thinking that this is the best poem that I've read from the spiritual category so far.
Keep writing.
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excellent
strongly presented, flowed well , all around star
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awww it is so lovely! wonderful! wonderful!wonderful!
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Such raw emotion... loved this! Best of luck to you in the contest!
becca
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This has it all- the power
A great job well done...mac
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