simply infatuated with the scars, the blood the rush and feel of it all.
alive....I'm alive.
it reminds me to breathe when I bleed.
I feel in control.
the sweet, sweet taste, the smell of my salvation.
gushing out,pouring out the pains and memories that linger within my torn black soul. relieving me just for that moment.
memorized by my blade. my addiction.
staring at my reflection.
unperfect, unpretty, misunderstood to the world.
I'm nobody...that's what nana always said.
you did this to me
I don't belong in this world.you will never amount to shit...that's what mama said.
you did this to me
my razorblade, my only true friend.
waking from a nightmare in a cold sweat only to enter another one
I feel his touch still on me....daddy, daddy please stop.
hands on my body. stop I plead. don't do this to me.
why must you look at me,a child,your child in such a wicked, twisted way.
betraying me.
no longer pure...A slut, that's all your are..a slut
you did this to me.
run and hide.
ill never let them see me cry.
you did this to me.
in my world. all alone that's how its been all along. within my wombs I feel safe. I feel loved I feel free.
I gave you my heart...my lover..my friend.
you used me..abused me.
thrown and tossed
worthless...that's what I am.
you did this to me.
where do I turn where do I go?
I'm simply just here. confused and lost.
MY BLADE. yes that's it.
it removes those tears from my eyes
crystal clear. and turns them crimson red.
no more tears..
stops this pain.
helps me move on.
gives me strength.
to keep this fake smile upon my face.
helps so that I don't have to lie.yet they'll never know the truth.
who I am
what I do
I'm a cutter
just like you.
A contest entry
- Cutters tell me why by Maili Knephthan.
400 points, ended January 15, 34 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
please enjoy and comment
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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This is so good...it made me cry...i hope things get better for you...
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welcome to allpoetry
It is a difficult thing to explain to those who have not known it for themselves. There could be a dozen (and more) reason why but really it is all the same. Release.
There are better ways.
I think the flow of this fits well with the thoughts and feeling. You have expressed yourself wonderfully. Put down the blade and pick up the pen more often. A friend without the scars.
All the best to you.
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I am sorry for your pain. It portrayed a great many feelings and thoughts. It describes why you cut and how you think when you do. Very nicely done Thank you for entering my contest
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i loved this one... well done
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aww, i loved this one... i loved at first when you used, it reminds me to breathe when i bleed, i love tha
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I have never read of this cutting before, never understood the reasons why. I have suffered from low esteem and depression for years (for different reasons) but I am a coward, I HATE pain. I still don't know how you could inflict more physical pain on yourself when someone else put you through so much. I would of thought pain would be the last thing on the planet that you would want as you have had far more than your share. I am glad I read this though, maybe I will understand a little more as I learn more. You have explained clearly all the reasons WHY but I need to know HOW you can take more hurt. I didn't want to hurt anymore, I wanted all pain to stop. Thank you for the read.
Sheila
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Amazazing!
That is so fucking awesome.....I honestly know exactly how you feel. I feel like we are one in the same for I too had those experiences, and I will never let them go. I cant. This piece spoke to me....I'm definately bookmarking this!
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