fall like a wine glass
off the bar
break like an unlucky mirror
punched with a fist
crash like a head on collision
with no survivors
burn like a bonfire
started with crude oil
shatter like a window
a brick flew through
evaporate like a puddle
days after the rain
crumble like ruins
from another time
surrender like an army
after the death count
deny like a politician
caught in a scandal
regret like a lover
who has lost feelings
rethink like a priest
who has lost faith
wonder on like a traveler
without a map
replay like a film
watched to many times
Author notes
i just see this way.
is this the way of life?
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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Nice write. I like the feeling and tempo here
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this is absolutely awesome!!i love this one!!!
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I noticed a few spelling errors, so I will start there. It should be bonfire in line 7. In line 8 crewd should be crude. In line 23 wonder should be wander (I think, though one could also wonder without any sense of direction, wander seems fitting to the metaphor). And Line 16 is a little abrupt.
I think life does seem kind of devoid of meaning from time to time, and these actions just seem the way of things as a result. I LOVED the part about the priest. I do wander without the map however, because in Tolkien's words "Not all who wander are lost". Personally I think that life's only redeeming factor is it's inherent meaningless. I can do a lot more with a big rock than I can a pre-made sculpture as far as artistic direction goes.
Great job on looking at life through a sober lens and translating it into verse. It can be hard to do.
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thanks for the help, even though isn't surrendering so what abrupt.
it doesn't take as long as the other actions in the poem.
that is why i didn't change that one myself.
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This poem kinda makes you think much as the last one did. That life goes in a specific order and set of rules. Where no matter what the situation or the person, the outcome will not be un-expected.
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