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Ramblings on the Wind.

The world sighed and

drank deep of your soul,

while drifting in my eyes

we drowned, as the sea

laughed.


lose the illusion

of perfection

as the waves caress

our thoughts, drawing

our hearts in the sunset.

burning the truth,

hidden in the hands

of eternity.


walk along the line

of redemption

and sin's passion.

we kissed and the sky

broke.


pulling tears from our eyes

it rained, calling us blind,

as hieroglyphs etched

color blue in the tint

of your eye, the earth

bloomed upon our lips.


We find the answers in our breath,

only to search for another, finding

what is not meant to be ours.



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Comments

1 - 20 of 20

  • Dryad Enya
    September 24

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    I like the end of the first stanza, the imargy in it is mindblowing, totaly so that the rest of the poem is just an added on part needed to make it all make sense...if I make sense that is. Don't think I do so i'll shut up about that.

    The last lines make us think, -grumbles- and it's brillaint sort of..you know -can't find the word- just sort of ya know! I love this piece, its one of those you can just keep coming back to read over and over because it will never lose its interest.
    Lovely write keep going!
    Dryad Enya


  • princessleejwctlvr2
    September 9
    Edit | Reply
    I love this piece sis this is very wonderfully portrayed!!!!


  • Deindichter
    June 19
    Edit | Reply
    first I love the usage of poetic devices, the assonance throughout, the alliteration, consonance, it makes for a smooth and wholesome read, very enjoyable.

    for criticism, possibly add some commas, like after perfection st 2, I like the personification of sin, and the images by and by are very satisfying and vivid.


  • Draven Alcanis
    May 25
    Edit | Reply
    detailed, passionate, beautiful. very well done, M'Lady.


  • The.poet.of.hearts
    March 17

    Edit | Reply
    written well, Except the use of some words. I feel they should more deeper in meaning
    anyway, nice write

    by
    the poet of hearts and beautiful words


  • wynd-fyre
    March 6
    Edit | Reply
    NICE! I agree, great imagery. nice write!


  • lunarlunacy
    February 16
    Edit | Reply
    great imagery here. kudos.


  • poeticweaver gold member
    January 22

    Edit | Reply

    Amazing!

    Such a well inscribed piece of poetry here, so descriptive in each line, which made it great for me, captivated me all the way through, you are truly a talent! Thanks for sharing here sweet friend.

    Peace.


  • morgana raven Greeters member
    January 19

    Edit | Reply
    Your words chosen here are brilliant, they flow together perfectly, and paint an image very clear.
    Great write.
    Laura


  • lunarlunacy
    January 18
    Edit | Reply
    well written in simple language that brings a depth of pathos, kudos.


  • aboomer silver member
    January 17

    Edit | Reply
    This is beautiful! I love the wording, the depth of your images in this. I really could not pick a favorite part as I loved it all, and it all went so well together. And I loved your ending,
    'we find the answers in our breath,
    only to search for another, finding
    what is not meant to be ours.'
    Excellent!

  • Bob Fox
    January 15

    Edit | Reply

    My poet

    Such brilliance in your words. The goddess of love , be it Venus or Isis would rejoice in such words and yet shed a tear for loves perfect imperfection.


  • geckogirl silver member
    January 14

    Edit | Reply
    nice work girl, this captured me from the start to the end... very powerful...loved the last 2 stanza's


  • lowercase prelude gold member
    January 14

    Edit | Reply
    An amazing piece
    So very well penned
    Your words grab the attention of the reader very well and keep them gripped to this piece, at least I was.

  • princessleejwctlvr2
    January 13

    Edit | Reply
    this is so truly beautiful sis!!! Wow you did a truly lovely job writing and portraying this piece!!! This is absolutely magnificent!!!! You have such a wonderful gift for writing!!! Ur words are incredible and they speak volumes!!! This is truly a piece to be proud of!!! I love it!!! I love u soooooooooo very much sis!!!!!!!!


  • thepoetssoul
    January 13
    Edit | Reply
    I say grab what we can hold onto and love like there is no tomorrow.Nothing truly in this world is ours but we can take the memories of them with us when we go.
    I totally went of on this one Ive been inspired.
    Wonderfully vivid in splendid color and taste.
    The second to last stanza is my fav, exellent write.
    Thanks for sharing your poetic talent.

    Tony


  • The Silent-Artisan
    January 13

    Edit | Reply
    How briliant and beautiful. Your words never cease to pierce my heart and my soul. A wonderful write from one of my favorite poets. Never stop writing Angel...to do so would truly be a sin and nothing less.


  • Miss Faerie Greeters member
    January 13

    Edit | Reply
    The ending was so powerful. A brilliant way to conclude a poem filled with amazing imagery and vocabulary choice


  • maralisa silver member
    January 13
    Edit | Reply
    a brilliant poem thank you for sharing maralisa


  • Cannonsfire
    January 13

    Edit | Reply
    Oh sissy, if i truly believed those last lines i think I could cheerfully throw myself into the sea right now, but I can't. A fool for hoping that someday and someway it all turns around and we all get what we want. Eternal optimist C

1 - 20 of 20