I stand outside and let the snow drip into my pores, just so I know I can still feel.
I stumble over emotions and allow myself to inhale pain, just so I know I'm still alive.
& now more than ever, I close my eyes and cradle our overburdened memories,
just so I know I'm not alone.
Temperatures rise with the flicker of a match between our hearts. You crawl beneath the surface of my delicate skin and implant nuclear explosions in the crevices of my bones to ensure me that you're there. Your hands around my waist imply your intentions, and the sparks that release from your fingertips sink into my ribs and ignite a flame to distinguish the butterflies fluttering around inside of my stomach.
I wondered why they were still there.
But then;
I remembered you.
I crave spontaneous reactions from the words that flow from my overbitten tongue, but you fold your hands behind your head and sigh with each second that regretfully passes. I read your eyes like I read poetry; sometimes in syllables, so the message is portrayed with a more inviting taste;
but I sometimes read them in sync with my heartbeat, because for a moment, you felt too familiar to me. For a moment, I was standing in your shoes and etching the distress look on my terrified face on a piece of scratch paper that was meant to be tossed into the garbage bin.
Because to you, I knew it wouldn't last. It was wasn't that important.
maybe I'm too undeserving.
May; an average fifteen year old girl with a past wrapped in golden lace.
June; I lost my glow, and my vocal chords became exhausted. I could no longer carry a tune without my throat swelling.
July; you suffocated my airway with ignorance. Ignorance is bliss.
August; bliss was overrated. If this was bliss, [I didn't want it anymore.]
September; it's not goodbye anymore, it's see you later.
October; sixteen & melting into your soul. Contagious without strings attached. Simple and aggressively complicated.
November; I shook hands with reality and filtered my senses. This way, you couldn't hurt me again.
December; I wash the scent of your skin from my pillowcase so I won't fall asleep thinking about you. Confrontations arise, temptation fades.
January; falling in love with the thought of forever is all I can do, because I'm afraid of hearing those three overused words escape your lips.
I'm afraid to let you get too close
again.
You sweep me off my feet and loosen the knots around my nerves with a pair of silver embedded scissors so I can walk across open water and reveal what happens next between our distant breaths. You might find me staggering between copper-extracted tears and melodies that drown me in my own self inflicted solitude, but blood is still being spread evenly across my tired body.
Just not to the organs you've already occupied. & All I do is scribble lyrics on the outside of my notebook and paint conclusions on the bareness of my bedroom walls.
Sometimes, you read them out loud.
Sometimes, I read them backwards.
[I miss how we used to be;
I miss how I used to feel
but what was said was only a conversational debrief
and I don't have the strength to watch you walk away.♥]
Author notes
innocence jaded.xx
not sure if i like it =/
A contest entry
- round three; without stopping. by broken-colours.
700 points, ended January 28, 8 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Mixed Messages by Rashida.
1500 points, ended January 19, 15 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - the catharsis rounds; auditions. by aanika.
1800 points, ended February 10, 43 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Your Favorite Work? by RedAquarius.
550 points, ended January 27, 36 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - favorites submit a PW by written-in-ink.
550 points, ended February 20, 22 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
feedback would be greatly appreciated :D
Comments
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i think that you should like it very much
i love how you put in the months i think that added volumes to this really it did and i love how it just flowed and everything went so well together
mmm
and i like how every opening to a new stranza was amazing and more amazing
i just love this
<33
you are so talented girly you dont even know
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They so need to make fonts an option for free members. Nice poem, you reminisce deeply, with a zealous attitude.
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yes.
thanks for entering. -
yes.
Please wait for the other judges comment. -
Quite a bit of strong, unique imagery in here. I particularly like stanza 2 and "may" ("past wrapped in golden lace"), among others. You express vulnerability, longing, and love very openly and I felt welcomed into you. Thanks for sharing.
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this was beautiful, love.
I really liked the imagery and flow and THANK YOU for using proper grammar and stuff lol. there are a lot of people who don't do that and it's a pet peeve of mine.
you already know I like your writing
thanks for entering! -
This is my personal comment for the catharsis rounds.
Upon the closing of the contest, I will comment back with a 'yes' or 'no.'
That being said, I really liked this.
I loved your imagery and metaphor, and this seemed quite unique.
It was a bit long, but held my attention quite well.
I really love the form you wrote this in, it's beautiful.
Overall, I really really liked this.
I'll be back.
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I really like this poem, your in-depth emoitons and the timeline of the poem very well done.
Thanks for entering!
Love, Raneika
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Wow! I most enjoyed the picking off of the months, one by one. Very original and beautiful. Thank you!
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this was great!! wow
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thank you !
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wow
this was long!
i liked what you said tho
your time line
but i especially like the part when you say
'' loosen the knots around my nerves with a pair of silver embedded scissors so I can walk across open water''
it's great! -
Okay, I have A LOT to say about this one, so bare with me in this ahcredibly long comment=]
Fact #1: THIS.WAS.ONE.OF.THE.BEST.POEMS.I'VE.EVER.READ.BY.YOU.
Fact #2: I am in love with this poem =]
First off, I loved the beginning, especially the worlds that were at the end of each sentence:
just so I know I can still feel.
just so I know I'm still alive.
just so I know I'm not alone.
A huge amount of lonliness in these lines, but a beautifully sad start to your poem.
Temperatures rise with the flicker of a match between our hearts. You crawl beneath the surface of my delicate skin and implant nuclear explosions in the crevices of my bones to ensure me that you're there.
Okay, WOW. I literally sat here and read those lines, ohhh, AT LEAST 5 times. The metaphors and imagery you placed in here were amazing!!And I loved your word choices of 'the flicker of a match' and 'nuclear explosions'. Intense words = intense imagery. This was beyond brilliant!
I read your eyes like I read poetry; sometimes in syllables, so the message is portrayed with a more inviting taste; but I sometimes read them in sync with my heartbeat, because for a moment, you felt too familiar to me.
Awww, hoeee. I seriously almost teared up when I read this parttt: 'because for a moment, you felt too familiar to me'.
That was just SO lovely and I liked how you compared reading poetry to reading his eyes. Where do you come up with these metaphors?! We all could learn a thing or two from you, fo sho=D
The months 'October' and 'November' spoke to me a lot. I loved 'contagious without strings attached' and 'I shook hands with reality and filtered my senses'. Sometimes it's just easier to be numb and simply complicated. Wonderful writing.
You sweep me off my feet and loosen the knots around my nerves with a pair of silver embedded scissors so I can walk across open water and reveal what happens next between our distant breaths.
Okay, so these were definitely my favorite lines out of the entire poem. I was seriously speechless when I read these words. Your perspective on this confusing situation has gotten me to open my eyes to a lot of different things I've never even thought about before. I just LOVE how you portrayed your emotions here=]
& All I do is scribble lyrics on the outside of my notebook and paint conclusions on the bareness of my bedroom walls.
Sometimes, you read them out loud.
Sometimes, I read them backwards.I like how you ended the poem by going back to the lonliness and emptiness you captured at the beginning.
I honestly just have to read your poems over and over again because they are simply AMAZING!!!! =]
Iloveyouu! <3
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Yet another amazing piece by Manduh
Life tends to not be fair, especially when it comes to love. And you show us that very clearly and from different angles and scenarios in the pieces that you write and they're simply amazing.
Keep up the good work! -
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thanks bro ! (: means a lot♥
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of course sis
i'm glad i can encourage you and read your work
you have such amazing talent
i wish i could write like you do when i was your age
just remember: don't let life spoil your talent, let it fuel it
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i love your journal-esque style of writing. And you always are able to weave together such beautiful stories with wonderful word choices.
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I like it, you should too. It's inspiring... I like the months part especially. I love the way you write, I see a lot of that and I'm always quite jealous of it. Hope you win the contest.
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