im hurt, im cold, im tired of this
i just want death to give me a kiss
i want to end this now, just stop it all
just shut me up and let me fall
i cannot feel this way much longer
what does not kill you only makes you stronger
well i doubt the man that said that first
was this sad, this broken, and this cursed
im so tired i just want to sleep
forever and ever, instead i weep
about what i never know
but head on i seem to take every blow
im dying from the inside out
its plain and clear, i have no doubt
soon to this, i will succumb
i feel no pain, i am too numb
its rather ironic, it is truly
that i should die so very cruelly
im just too weak to fight anymore
just let me open up heavens door
but i cant, im not allowed
keep me out and let in the crowd
wow it is really true
i am still invisible here too
ok i get it, just one big joke
sit back and laugh as i choke
keeling on the ground screaming at the sky
that same question, same fucking question, why
im not allowed to be happy anywhere
this is only what i know, inherent, like air
im just doomed to never be anything
just a shell of a man, to nothing i cling
everywhere i turn, emptiness envelops
when i close my eyes, despair develops
and i have finally come to realize
everything is fake, despite what you idealize
im too empty and tired to continue to care
until now i was blissfully unaware
but now im dying, drained of emotion
all hope is gone, and so is devotion
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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poetically terrifying
beautiful, dark, you've got depth no sixteen year old boy should. poetry lets you express the darkest bits of your soul, this is painfully pretty. -
WOW!
this was soooo intense. your emotions were like WHOA! this piece was sad from the beginning till the end, and the imagery and metaphors were well used! nice write, keep the faith alive
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i dont remember what you said at my comment, becuase this was mind blowing. but i have to question you on some things ;] wouldnt i always?you could be dying, but how would you feel it if you were too mumb to feel emotion {see 2nd to last line; last line 4th stanza} but, damn. I think I know where you got the: "im dying from the inside out" or at least from the 'inside out' Hunny, it's always a curse, but Doll, you're not the only one that lives with it. Then later through it ... you are not as invisible as me. For at least I can still hear you. but this has to be my favorite part right here:
"ok i get it, just one big joke
sit back and laugh as i choke
keeling on the ground screaming at the sky
that same question, same fucking question, why"
dont think you're the only one that does it. ...i wont ever forget the day I did... not ever.
but shoot ... sorry for the long critque ... if i wasnt so consumed in this, it wouldnt be the case, but where did you get the idea of "shell of a man"
i like it, sounds familiar, but in a good way =]
[i think im almost done] ..I know its hard to beleive in anything or "Him" ... but, you have to know that it happens for a reason, and you know i *know* this. please, babe, do me a favor, and beleive for me. or if you can't, beleive in Me, and I'll beleive for You.
P.S.: Happiness is created, although it's an illusion
We all love it, i think we all hate living without it.
It will come back to you, and when it leaves, it will only come back stronger.
Love you too.
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Nice!
Good job! The rhyms are good and not forced. You are definately getting better! Check your beat though. Other than that, great poem and I love the ending! "But now im dying, drained of emotion
all hope is gone, and so is devotion"...wow.
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